I'm Lou and this is my aha moment

The Mutual of Omaha Aha Moment people found me through my blog.  They thought I might have an aha moment I could share in their 34-foot Airstream mobile film studio as part of the 2015 Aha Moment Road tour.  
 

These guys travel the country and film people talking about their aha moments.  How cool!

Me?  Have an aha moment?  Damn right I have!  

I’ve written 375 blog posts.  I’ve got at least 375 aha moments.  

But how could I possibly pick just one?

The Aha Moment people sent me a link to all the aha moments they’ve taped over the past 6 years in their around the country mobile studio.  I decided to take a look.

Oh dear.

They are all sappy.  And inspirational. 

The bullied child.  The woman who lost her child.  The lady who climbed a mountain. 

Did they even read my blog? 

It’s a damn good that I did my research.  Here’s what COULD have happened yesterday.

I step into the mobile studio and meet Jessica, the interviewer.  She asks me to have a seat, get comfortable, and tell her my aha moment.  The camera is running.

“Hi.  I’m Lou and this is my aha moment.  I learned that you can make earrings out of Moose Poop.  Who’da guessed?!!  When I head about those earrings, I said, aha!”

Jessica laughs politely and says,  “Lou, do you have another aha moment you can share?”

And I say, “Sure!  I have 374 other aha moments”

“Go ahead.  Pick one.” 

“Hi.  I’m Lou and this is my aha moment.   A few years ago I was trying to set my husband’s underwear on fire on the driveway with Barbie  roller blades and it didn’t work.  You see I accidentally used Dry Shampoo instead of Hair Spray.   Duh!!!  Now THAT was an aha moment.”

Jessica says, “That’s such a good aha moment.  Can you think of another one?”

“Oh, I know!  When I first got my  Wine Rack Sports Bra and decided to try it out with Diet Coke instead of wine and I filled it up too much and, well, it was really cold on my boobs, and not very comfortable, but the worst part was when I tried to take a sip out of the secret straw it sprayed Diet Coke up my nose.  OMG was that ever an aha moment!”

Jessica smiles and says, “Thank you, Lou.  I think we have enough.” 
 

But thankfully, I DID my research and I had one blog, out of 375, that could possibly work.  The   French Braid that changed my life.

I wouldn’t call it sappy.   Or inspirational.

But Jessica seemed to like it. It was "original".

Now THAT was an aha moment.

Pooping Peanuts

I wish my dog pooped jewels.  But he doesn't.  He poops poop.  Plain old poop.

Avery's dog poops jewels.  Red jewels.  Probably rubies.
 
Avery is part of the Moxie Girlz  Poopsy Pet collection.    According to the Moxie girlz website, "the pets are cute- and just like magic, they have silly poop!"

Kevin's poop is not at all silly.

As a side note, while researching the Moxie Girlz Poopsy Pets, I googled  “I poop jewels” and was disturbed delighted to discover a whole new world of jewelry made of, you guessed it, poop.

Apparently moose poop makes very attractive earrings.  As does bird poop.  And quail droppings.
 
BTW, these earrings better be produced by some crazy-ass engineering geniuses, because the ear lobe is not that far from the nose.  And I don’t know about you, but I would not want the eau-de-moose poop wafting around my face all day.  

Even if they are swank as shit.

Back to those Moxie dolls.  They don’t just poop jewels.
This animal collection is truly extraordinary.  It contains a caboodle of crap.  There’s an elephant that poops peanuts, a panda that poops bamboo shoots, a tiger that poops striped eggs, and a unicorn that poops rainbows.

Yes.  You heard right.  A unicorn that poops rainbows.

It’s almost too good to believe!

I decided to take a trip to amazon.com to  see what the reviewers had to say.

I was not disappointed.  They appear to love it! 

"This educational toy is great for teaching kids about pooping. Personally, I poop rainbow drops that feel like velvet and smell like orange sherbet, unless I eat chili, then its more like rose petal potpourri. If its just gas, then a rainbow beams out and swirls the room, wrapping itself around anyone in the room with a loving embrace."

"My life was incomplete without a rainbow-pooping unicorn amongst the many unique toys decorating my professional office. This newest conversation piece is, without question, the crème de la crème of the lot"

"Lots of poopin' fun! The only way they can top this rainbow-pooping unicorn is if they make a pet cat that poops out dead mice. Now THAT would be epic."
 
Seriously?  A cat pooping out dead mice?  

I couldn't agree less.  A cat pooping out dead mice would do absolutely nothing for me. 

Now a Pomeranian pooping tampons?

  
That, my dear readers,  would be legendary.