In January I blogged about the incredibly stealthy I.M.M. (Israeli Mall Militia) whose members used guerilla warfare to assault unsuspecting shoppers in my local mall, convincing them to purchase over-priced hand care products.
Since then the I.M.M. have closed camp and moved on. They have been replaced with the kinder, gentler, and oxymoronish C.M.M. (Chinese Mall Masseuse-men).
At the risk of being called a massage snob, I simply can't imagine enjoying a massage in the middle of the mall between Hollister's and Auntie Ann's pretzels. Who can relax while hearing sounds like, "Mom, why can't I get a that shirt?... Pleeeeeeeeeeease?"
OK, so maybe I'm not the target market. Perhaps they are attempting to attract male drag-alongs who don't have the stamina of their female counterparts.
But do they have to be so close to Auntie Ann's? Let's just say that seeing some guy getting his hairy bare foot massaged within steps of the Auntie Ann Pretzel line can make one change her mind about that sesame pretzel.
Of course, it could be worse.
The Eyebrow Threaders kiosk is about 30 feet down the mall from the CMM. What are Eyebrow Threaders, you may ask? Well, remember cat's cradle, the game you played with strings when you were a kid? It's just like that, only you place your eyebrow in the middle of the string in order to remove unwanted hairs.
Eyebrow threading originated in India and involves twisting a piece of cotton thread into a double strand. This double stranded thread is used to pick up a line of hair and then remove it, creating a very clean, precise hairline.
The hair removal technique is not just for the eyebrows: threading can be used to remove other facial and body hair as well. Double ouch.
Thankfully, only facial hair can be removed in the mall kiosk.
While doing research for this blog, I found "how to" directions for Eyebrow Threading. I've decided to try it out as part of a future blog.
I just need a volunteer.