Tuesday, October 2, 2018

The Lesson

I usually find baseball games boring.  They're 3 innings too long.

But this game was exciting.  The Brewers could clinch a playoff spot with a win.  And it was high scoring.  Lots of action.

There was a Millennial couple sitting in front of me at the game.  The girl, let's call her "Chloe", was sitting just below my sightline to the batter.  Chloe's boyfriend, let's call him "Aiden," sat to her right.

Then this happened.

It's not like the phone was blocking my sightline.  But after Chloe's 22nd selfie I started to find her phone more entertaining than the baseball game.

She'd take a few photos, inspect them, adjust her hair and take a few more.  Inspect those, lean closer to Aiden, and then take a few more.  Inspect those, purse her lips, and take a few more.

What was I to do?

I took a photo of them and posted it on Facebook.

After several innings, Chloe was satisfied with her photo and probably posted it on Instagram.  

Because she's way cooler than I am.

Then my friend went to the concession stand, leaving me alone.  

A couple minutes later I heard a voice in my ear.  Attached to another Millennial.  

Let's call her "Ursula".

Ursula: Do you know those people sitting in front of you?
Me: What?
Ursula: Do you know those people sitting in front of you?
Me: No.
Ursula: I noticed you took a picture of them.
Me: Yeah.  She took like 50 selfies.
Ursula: I don't think that was very nice.
Me: What?
Ursula: They weren't hurting you.  She made sure you weren't in any of her pictures.
Ursula: I don't think that was nice at all.
Ursula: I think that was mean.

I had a flashback to 5th grade.  My blue-haired teacher, Mrs. Crouse, scolded me for making too much noise turning pages in my Math book.  "I don't think that's very nice, Mary Louise.  Your loud page turning is disrupting the class."

Me: You're right. I shouldn't have done that.
Ursula:  I know.  It really wasn't nice.
Me: (Face turning very red.)
Ursula: Not nice at all.

I turned my back on Ursula and I let that encounter completely ruin the rest of the game for me.

It wasn't until days later that I realized that she was way meaner than I was.

Thinking back, I wish I had responded differently.  Ursula probably thought she had taught me a big fat lesson.  In fact, she'll probably do it again the next time she thinks somebody over twice her age is misbehaving.

I should have said, "Oh yeah?  Go to H-E-double hockey sticks."

Or held up my profanity pillow.

Or maybe I should have laughed.

And told her how hilarious she was.

But you know what would have been even better?

I should have taken
her picture.