More from the Drinking Buddies

Becca was momentarily stunned when she noticed Josh hanging onto my kitchen light for dear life.



"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You've got a guy hanging from your light."

"Oh!" I said.  "That's Josh.  Chad's on the other side.  And Mitch and Chad #2 are climbing up my Eiffel Tower wine cork holder."

Becca should not have been surprised.  She knows me well enough.  You see, my Drinking Buddies have kind of taken over where Barbie left off.  Occasionally making an appearance in a blog post.. But between blogs, I let them hang out wherever they choose.  Like on the lamps in my family room.  Or on my Amazon Banana Slicer. 

"They're cute," Becca observed.  "Yeah," I agreed.  "And you really can't have too many Drinking Buddies."

Especially when your daughter is getting married.  I mean, just think how easy it would be to lose track of your drink at wedding!  But no worries for me.  I have my Drinking Buddies.

Not to mention the fact that they'll fit right in at a Thai Beach wedding in their Speedos.

I have 12 Drinking Buddies, which will be enough for 1 table.  Guests at the other tables will just have to be careful with their drinks.

Our table will be all set.  No mixed up drinks to worry about.

Uh-oh.  I just thought of something.

I have two complete sets of six Drinking Buddies.  Which means I have six pair of Drinking Buddy twins.

What if two people with the same Drinking Buddy get their drinks mixed up?

OMG!

That would be a problem for an ordinary Mother of the Bride. But I'm not an ordinary Mother of the Bride.  I'm Lou Clyde. 

And I have a Sharpie.


And, well, it turns out that half of my Drinking Buddies have chest hair!

I can see it now.  Kimmy and I return to the table after dancing to Love Shack on the beach.  "Mom.  Which Mitch Drinking Buddy is yours?"

I smile confidently and say, "The one who waxed."

My Toilet Paper Origami Groove

I honestly don't recall purchasing the Toilet Paper Origami book.  I had probably intended to "delight my guests with fancy folds."  But based on the folded up piece of toilet paper on page 15, I hadn't gotten very far.

But that was then and this is now.  And I am far more talented and crafty than I was when I purchased the book.  

Whenever the hell that was.

And Kimmy is working at a fancy-ass hotel in Maine this summer.  Maybe when I go visit her next month I can offer my services.

I could either create the origami toilet paper art myself or train her Housekeeping staff. Which ever they prefer.

That's how accommodating I am.

I started by making a rose. 

I have to admit, it was a little rough.  

Hey! I could have lied and said I started with a bunny rabbit who lost his bonnet.  But I didn't.

And did I give up?  Hell no!

Since the hotel is in Maine, I decided to create a sail boat.

That was so easy, I made a lovely maiden.

Then I started to get into my Toilet Paper Origami groove. The maiden needed a flower atop her head.  It was almost perfect.

But something was missing.  One more detail.  

I added Josh, one of my drinking buddies to the mix and achieved TOILET PAPER ORIGAMI PERFECTION.

I was so proud.  And happy.   Knowing just how blown away Kimmy and her Housekeeping staff will be when I offer my services next month.

But I was exhausted.  All that folding was way too much for my poor fingers.   

I thought again about about that fancy-ass Maine hotel. 

All those bathrooms. 

I may need to simplify my design if I have any chance of finishing up in time for Happy Hour.

My New Drinking Buddies

I didn’t hesitate for a minute when I saw the Drinking Buddies Drink markers. 

 

 

Six miniature men with names engraved on their Speedos.

 

So stinkin’ adorable.

 

I slipped one on Dave’s Diet Coke.  “What the hell is this?” he asked.  

 

“It’s Cody.  One of my Drinking Buddies.”

 

“I don’t want that hanging on my glass,” he said as he handed him back to me.

 

“You want Mitch, instead?” I offered, beginning to amuse myself.

 

“I hope you didn’t pay money for those things.   What are they for anyhow?”

 

“Drink Markers.  So we don’t get our glasses mixed up.”

 

 

“Oh, really”, he responded, “Do you really think that's necessary?”

 

He just doesn’t know how to have fun.  I started assembling the guys around the top of my wine glass.  They were all looking into the glass. 

 

 

Which inspired me.  I have a denture ice cube tray.  I can hear Brad now, "Look, Josh!  Is that somebody's false teeth floating in Lou's wine glass?"

 

Or maybe my fake fly.  Like Alanis Morisette: A fly in my Chardonnay!

 

These guys are so much fun!  

 

Maybe there should a shark in the glass.  And they're terrified.

 

Or, I know.  They're in a Bruce Willis movie, suspended high in the air.  And they're hanging on for dear life.  

 

 

(One them is a Bruce, after all.)

 

Whatever they’re doing has to match their expressions.

 

But Chad, Mitch, Ryan, Brad, Cody and Josh are all wearing their poker faces.  

 

“You didn’t answer my question,” Dave said.  “Did you actually pay money for those things?

 

“Of course I did. Only $12.00,” and because I’m a Nerd I added, “That’s only $2.00 per guy.” 

 

“You paid $2.00 per guy too much.”

 

Bah.  He just doesn’t know how to fun. Thank God there's someone else in the house who values my Drinking Buddies.