Wrestling Roaches

There are some things in life that I'm better off not knowing about.

Like the information contained in this blog.  

But in the interest of fostering the minds and raising the IQs of my readers, here goes:

Deep breath.

Children in Japan keep insects as pets.  And they name them.  Names like Sumatra Hirata. 

And they play with them.  And teach them tricks.  And how to wrestle.

Especially if their special insect pet is a stag beetle.

I know what you're thinking.  How the heck can you teach a bug how to wrestle?  

Apparently the athlete's diet is important.  He needs supplemental feedings of energy-rich food such as sugar.  

During practice, the trainer blows a small noisemaker that sounds like the female stag beetle's mating call.  Sumatra's hormones then take over; he wants a woman and will wrestle any stag beetle that gets in his way.

(Really, not much different from high school wrestling.)

Time for another deep breath.

In Japan, you can buy live insects in vending machines. I AM NOT KIDDING.

You can also buy insects at bug stores.  Price tags for a beetle can range from a few hundred yen (a few dollars) to around 300,000 yen ($2,800).  Last year a stag beetle was sold for 10 million yen.   

Which is ridiculous!  Think about how much wine you could buy with 10 million yen.

Many Japanese children lack the resources to buy insects, and opt to hunt for their bugs.  Which brings me to the newest product on the Japan Trend Shop web site: The Mikilocos Insect Getter Catcher.    

(Is it just me, or is that name a wee bit redundant?) 

The Mikilocos Insect Getter Catcher appears to be pretty straight forward to operate.  Apparently, you first have to pose like Charlie's Angels.  Then pull the trigger.  The bug-catching arm will grab the bugs so you can deposit them into their new home.

And you can begin training them for their wrestling careers. 

The  Mikilocos Insect Getter Catcher sells for $30 on the Japan Trend Shop web site, a bit outside of my blog budget.  As you know, I could most certainly reproduce this product with materials I purchase at the Dollar Store.

I have decided not to do that.

I'm afraid it might work.

Becoming the Beard or the Becoming Beard? That is the question.

I have been accused of focusing my blog on silly, trite topics.  However, today I'm tackling a very serious issue.  A philosophical controversy which has been debated for centuries.

Does fashion influence television or does television influence fashion?

I firmly believe that it is the latter.  

I mean, look at Farrah Fawcett!   Her 1976 hairstyle went on to become an international trend.  Everyone wanted Farrah hair.   

Yes, even me.
 
Jennifer Anniston had a similar impact on hair styles in the '90s.

But neither Jennifer nor Farrah had the impact that Duck Dynasty is about to make on the fashion world.

Wait!  You say you've never heard of Duck Dynasty?  You're not familiar with the hunky geniuses behind the Duck Commander Duck Call?  

Think ZZ Top.  In Camo.

I know what you're thinking.  Not every man can grow such attractive facial hair as Phil and Si, Jase, Willie, and Jep, the  sexy "stars" of Duck Dynasty. 

And call me crazy, but I would love to be able to sport a similar growth on my own face. 

Especially in the winter!  

Of course I could always purchase a Duck Dynasty Beard and Bandana on Amazon.com for $19.99.  

When my friend Jamie looked at this photo, she thought it was a "very awkward and inappropriate bikini."

Just wait until you see my version of the Duck Dynasty Beard and Bandana, Jamie.   You will want your own.
 
All I needed was some fabric.  And a bandana.



Poor Kevin hardly recognized me in my new Duck Dynasty duds.  (And I wasn't even wearing camo!)

Saving the best news for last:  My Nerdling version of the Duck Dynasty Beard and Bandana can actually be repurposed as a bikini.  

(Thank you Jamie, for that suggestion!)

And it fits perfectly.  

However,  in the interest of modesty, and to protect the mental health of my readers, I decided not to include the photo in this blog.

You're welcome.