iPood

You may have noticed a new, more mature Nerdling in 2014.  Whereas, 22.8% of my 2014 posts were of the "potty humor" variety, it has been 5 months since I've blogged about toilets.

I have not written one word about urinals... or GoGirls...or Stool Stools... or Bumper Dumpers in 2014.  

That's good, for me.

Being a more sophisticated and cultivated writer allows me to tackle pressing social and economic issues.  And write about, say, new  technological innovations available to today's toddlers. 

Like the CTA Digital 2-in-1 iPotty with Activity Seat for iPad.

I'm just so disappointed that my children are already potty trained.  

I can just imagine Kimmy and Linda sitting on their iPotty's.  

(BTW, I would recommend unsnapping that onesie before attempting to use the iPotty)

I checked out the iPotty on Amazon.com and it is very reasonably priced.  You can get this ingenious device for under $35! 

And the reviews were A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. 

"I know when my 1 year old is in endless business meetings throughout the day, he will now be able to still access all those data management programs and have that report on his kindergarten teachers desk first thing Monday morning. And I can reach him on Skype to make sure he got his power nap too."

"Thank you for this!  Finally! It's so much easier to teach children to drop the electronics in the toidy when they don't have to stand on tippytoes." 

It sounds like they may be coming out with an iPotty 2, based on this review:  

"I can't wait to see the new model to include the feeding tube and buckle strap. I won't ever have to interact with my child ever again."

Clearly, this product is a winner among parents: 

"I was really struggling to find a way to rot my child's brain more comprehensively. DVD player at the dinner table, Movies in the car, iPad on our flight, but I never could figure out how to fill the bathroom time with mindless distraction. Thanks iPotty. Now I don't have to talk to my kids at all!" 

"Not enough fecal bacteria on your iPad? Try this! It will really, really work."   

Not all of the reviews were stellar.  

"This item is ludicrous! I open it up and the thing is tiny. It's like they made it for children! Beware potential overflow."  

OMG.  Did he really think he could fit his man body on that iPotty?  What was he thinking?  

He should come to me for his toilet needs.  For, you see, I have the perfect product for him. 

The CTA Digital Pedistal Stand for iPad 2/3/4 with Roll Holder.  And its reviews are not too shabby, either:

"iPad'd, iPoo'd, iWiped. This product is a god sent for those who play their own "Game of Thrones" for hours on end."

Waiting for the Contribution

I read my friend's Facebook posting. Twice.

“Kiersten just used the potty for the first time yeah!!! These new potties have music so she was tickled"

Blog topic?

I googled "musical potty chairs". And there it was. The Cheer For Me Potty!

OMG! Check this out!

The realistic yet whimsical toilet look familiarizes the child with a real toilet that includes a flush handle, a toilet paper roller, a fully functioning seat with lid.

I’m getting goose bumps!  But there’s more!

The potty responds to the child's actions in many ways with phrases, music, and sound effects. Your child will hear a response or encouragement when:

* the seat lid is opened and closed

* the flusher is pulled

* the toilet paper roll is spun

* when the child sits

* and most importantly when the child makes a "contribution."

Wait a minute.

I cannot tell you how many hours I spent sitting on the edge of the bathtub waiting for contributions from my daughters, as they sat on our boring potty chair. The one with no bells and whistles.

(This is not me in the photo, nor is it Kimmy or Linda.  It is someone pretending to be us.)

Oh, how I sat. Reading them books. Begging them.  Bribing them. Threatening them.   

I never claimed to be the mother of the year.

Waiting and waiting and waiting. For the contribution.

Crap!  (pun intended) Where was this Cheer For Me Potty when I needed it?

It even sings a song!

Toilet paper, toilet paper
,

on a roll next to me


I can have a few squares


Maybe one or two squares
.

How about three?

Maybe potty training would have been more effective had I sung to my children while they were on our boring potty chair. 

I can hear it now.... ,“Tinkle tinkle little Kimmy...."

“Mommy stop singing! I can’t go while you’re singing.”

But I’m way smarter than a 2 year old: a stinkin' parental genius. 

“I’ll stop singing when you make your contribution.”

Yeah.  Who needs a Cheer For Me Potty, anyhow?