Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Turnip Truck

I did not just fall off of a turnip truck.

Clearly, my daughter Linda thinks I did.

How else could you explain the conversation we had on the way to the mall last Saturday?

“ I lost one of my shoes last night," Linda casually announced. She and her friend Katarina had gone Midnight Bowling the prior evening.

She showed me the orphan shoe, for which I had paid $40. I guess, technically I paid $20 for it. The other $20 was apparently MIA at, or around, Anchor Lanes.

"I'm sure you can get it back," I said confidently. "They must have a lost-and-found at the bowling alley.”

Checking Anchor Lane’s lost and found for her missing shoe was obviously something Linda did not want to be involved in. She switched gears.

"I may have left it in Cameron's car."

My left brain kicked into action. If that were the case, Linda would have either walked into the bowling alley wearing just one shoe, or she would have taken it off in his car after bowling.

"Hmmm.  Let's see.  Were you wearing only one shoe when you walked into the bowling alley?" I probed.
"Well, then...  Did you take your shoe off in Cameron’s car after bowling?"
"AHA!" I proclaimed, attempting (without success) to control my enthusiasm.  "Then how could it be in Cameron's car?" I asked smugly.

Linda switched gears again.

 "I think somebody stole it."
"OH COME ON!” I said. “ That's the dumbest thing I ever heard in my life. Why would anyone steal one shoe?”
Katarina tried to help. "People steal one shoe all the time."

"I stand corrected. THAT'S the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. What good is one shoe?"

Then I added, in a voice a bit too loud for the car, "I did not just fall off a turnip truck!"

But you know what? I suppose if somebody had just one leg (a left leg), she might find Linda’s shoe to be of value. I mean, it was a very nice shoe (worth $20). And I may be wrong here, but I don’t think two legs are required to bowl. 

So it is possible that a one-legged individual was bowling at Anchor Lanes on Friday night. And since size 8 is a relatively common shoe size, it’s likely that Linda’s shoe would perfectly fit a one-legged bowler’s left foot.

I think I’m being too hard on Linda.

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