Sunday, April 8, 2012

Premeditated Peep Pilfering

I've been told that you should never compare your children. But when you have two like mine, so completely opposite, that's easier said than done.

And at the risk of being labeled a bad mother, one is far superior to the other, in numerous ways.

You see, Sabbie (rest in peace), was a primo least from my perspective (and what other perspective matters?)

Sabbie pooped once a day. He was more reliable than Old Faithful. You could set your clocks to Sabbie's daily constitutional.

As opposed to Kevin. He poops every damn time I take him for a walk. I have no earthly idea where it all comes from  (possibly from food he hasn't yet consumed).

Allow me to brag again about sweet Sabbie, whose poop was hard as a rock. Bowling ball hard. Toe stubbing hard. Thus, easy to pick up (or kick out of the way, with steel toe shoes).

Then there's Kevin. Suffice it to say that Poop Freeze is often in order.

See what I mean?  As different as night and day.

But the real differentiator between the two lies in their character... their moral fiber.

Sabbie would never have considered such a blatant, horrific crime.  Easter Basket Burglary.

But it wasn't just any ordinary Easter Basket Burglary.  It was cold and calculated.  (I can't believe he thought that Dollar Store fake mustache would throw us off.)

Premeditated Peep Pilfering.

I had hidden Linda's Easter Basket behind a chair in the Living Room.

Crawling under the chair to steal a Peep was reprehensible.  But, then, when caught in the act, Kevin pretended to be looking for his yellow ball.


Who in their right mind would confuse a Peep with a yellow ball?

Sure, they're the same color, and about the same size.  But do you see any eyes on that yellow ball?!!

But then again, maybe he was confusing the Peep's eyes for flex of dirt on his yellow ball.  Or the squeak hole.   He is just a puppy, for crying out loud. 

Oh, what the heck.  I'm going to give Kevin Peep Probation.  

He's way too young (and innocent) to go to Puppy Prison.   

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps Kevin is a bit myopic, giving him reason to mistake a peep for a playball. They are of similar consistency when chewed, and both produce an abundance of saliva. Don't be so hard on him, since it could be an indication you are still on the rebound from the loss of your sweet Sabbie. Hope the rest of your Easter was wonderful. Just be thankful he didn't get into the chocolate. I understand that would have been quite the experience for all involved.