Saturday, April 30, 2011

Triangle Turning Troubles

It’s official. I’ve lost my job. I am no longer the “Stage Left Triangle Turner” in High School Musical. 

But the thing is, I love triangles

I love all triangles regardless of shape or size, be they isosceles, equilateral, right, or scalene.

But I hate that damn High School Musical triangle (HSMT).

I guess, technically, the HSMT is really a ‘Triangular Prism’. (And if you really want to get specific, it’s an ‘Equilateral Triangular Prism’.) But to me it’s just a big, bulky, unruly monster that takes pleasure in messing with my head.

The 3 sides of the HSMT depict 3 settings.  With every scene change, the HSMT is turned so the audience is looking at the appropriate set. Given that there are about 39 scene changes in HSM, that stinkin’ HSMT has to be turned around so often it resembles a slot machine in a casino.

And, try as I might, I could never get it exactly right, as Samantha, the 17-Year-Old-Know-It-All-Stage-Left-Stage-Manager was quick to remind me.

     “Ms. Darbus. You forgot to turn the triangle to the Chem Lab side,”  Samantha would say, in a voice that was a fascinating blend of annoyance, condescension and pity.

     “Oh yeah?,” I'd mutter under my breath. “Well, I can do 5-star sodukus in under 4 minutes. So there.”

 And when I did manage to remember to turn the 12 foot HSMT at the right time, in the right direction, it would typically become tangled up in the stage left curtain.  It was  like wrestling with an alligator on cocaine.

Personally, I thought it was rather entertaining to watch. Especially when I would trip over my costume.  But I guess my slapstick (and my giggling) distracted from the show.

     “Ms. Darbus! You turned the triangle the wrong way. It’s supposed to say Wild Cats!”  Samantha scolded, rolling her eyes.

     “Oh yeah? Well, I can jump rope and pogo stick at the same time.”

As a result of my incompetence, Tiffany (the director) "relieved me of my HSMT duties". And you know how I feel about that?

Like celebrating! All I have to worry about now is my acting.

Except Tiffany gave me a another job. I’m supposed to bring on 2 chairs during one of the science lab scenes.

I wonder where I'm supposed to put them?  I'm not going to worry, though. 

I'm sure Samantha will tell me where to go.

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