The Lost Keys

I should have just stayed home tonight.

I had the house all to myself. Dave was going to the baseball game. Linda was going to her flag twirling team practice.

As I was considering my options, Dave returned from dropping Linda off at practice. He ran in the house to make a pit stop before leaving for the game.

30 seconds later he came out of the bathroom and said, "What did I do with my keys?"

I said something really innocuous, like "Where did you leave them?"   I mean, he went from his car (point A) to the bathroom (point B) and somehow he lost them on the way. (But who am I to judge? )

"Lou, help me find them! I have to leave for the game!!" He was beginning to get frantic. (Wouldn't want to miss the first pitch.)

I got up and looked in his car and along the path to the bathroom. "Did you flush them down the toilet?" I asked helpfully.

"Where the #$##$@# can they be?," he asked rhetorically, since neither he nor I could figure out where they'd disappeared to.

I looked at Kevin. He shook his head.

Dave ended up using his back-up car keys to drive to the game.

And I should have stayed home.  

But Steinmart was having a sale. So I picked up my coupons and drove the 14 miles to Steinmart. I had plenty of time to shop and save money. Linda didn't have to be picked up until 8:30.

As I unbuckled my seat belt I noticed my GPS sitting on the passenger seat.  And what do you think was under the GPS?  I called Dave.

"Dave, did you put my GPS back in my car?"

"YES!  That's where my keys are!"

"Yep- I'll put them in my glove compartment for you," I said, feeling a bit smug.

Then I shopped. And I scored (way more than the Gamecocks scored.)  I walked to the car feeling very good about my purchases and how much money I'd saved by spending. And I still had plenty of time to pick up Linda!  Life was good.

I removed my keys from my purse.  Except they weren't my keys. They were Dave's keys. 

My keys were locked safely in my glove compartment for Dave.

I called Dave to tell him about my conundrum and remind him that it was all his fault. But, not to worry. He and his buddy (who was at the game with him) came up with a solution to my problem. I could borrow Scott's daughter's car.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't want to bite the gift horse that feeds me, or kick it in the mouth, either. But Scott lives on the Tallahassee side of the lake.

So Scott's wife was nice enough to pick me up and drive me 8 miles to their house. I got in their daughter's car and drove 23 miles to pick up Linda 30 minutes late, and then the 8 miles back home. 

By then the game was ending. I got back in the borrowed car (did I mention it had a skull hanging from the rear view mirror?) and drove 14 miles back to the Steinmart parking lot, where I met Dave and Scott with my backup set of keys. We drove the 8 miles to Scott's house to drop off the car and 19 miles home.

14+8+23+8+14+8+19=85 miles.  All because Dave couldn't find his keys.

I should have just stayed home.  

But I got the cutest skirt ever!  And I saved way more than I spent.