Prosthetic Resourcefulness

I know. You're probably sick to death of reading about prosthetic resourcefulness. But these are important stories that must be told and retold. They are stories of brave, determined, enterprising individuals capitalizing on their prosthetic appendages.

Take for example the courageous amputee who saw a thug pointing a gun at the cashier in a convenience store in Massachusetts earlier this year. What did he do? Tackle the guy? Call the police? Run (or try to run) away?

No. He used his prosthetic leg to trip the thief.   Who'd have thought that a prosthetic leg would be such a good weapon?

Yep. That amputee was using his resources. 

Kind of like the lady in Rock Hill...except she wasn't exactly using her resources. She was using her husband's resources. The Rock Hill woman stole her husband's prosthetic leg and attacked him with it.

I mean, she didn't have her own, so she grabbed the closest prosthetic leg that she could find. It just so happened to be attached to her husband at the time. But she discovered that she could run a lot faster than he could with his leg in her hand.

Another excellent example of prosthetic resourcefulness.

But my favorite example of prosthetic resourcefulness is the California guy who wanted to smuggle three endangered iguanas from Fiji into the U.S.  Where did this amputee attempt to hide the loot?

You guessed it. In his prosthetic leg.

But he got caught.

Perhaps he should have given his iguanas some Ambien prior to going through airport security.

TSR: "Excuse me sir, but is there any medical reason for the movement inside your leg?"

Smuggler: "I have varicose veins."

TSR: "Sir, your varicose veins are chirping."

I said he was resourceful.  But he was a terrible liar.

On second thought, perhaps this is an example of Pathetic Prosthetic Resourcefulness.