The Horny Cat

Damn Dave.  Allergic to cats.   I really want one. 

So I can dress it up in an Inflatable Unicorn Hat.  Check it out!  It's stinkin' amazing. 

And it’s high quality.  I can tell.   "It holds via a four point elastic strap system."  That thing will stay put.

OMG.  I just had a scathingly brilliant idea. 

I should get one for my boss!  She has a cat.  

I just hope she doesn't confuse my generosity with sucking up.

But it could be risky.  What if her cat doesn't like it?  The cat on the box looks happy enough, but the one in the front looks a wee bit angry. 

Or humiliated.

Impossible to tell.   I decided to check out the reviews. 

There were lots of positive ones:

"I got this unicorn horn for Louis my cat. I went to clear out his litter box later that day. Instead of the usually smelly turds, I found miniature rainbows and stars!"

"Yes it's true! This unicorn horn is amazing. I only put it on my cat for special occasions. It's power is almost too much power for one cat to handle."

"This is an excellent purchase for anyone who has failed to find love amongst their own species. I bought 12."

Still, there were a couple of red flags:

"Please only use with declawed cats and a cat-muzzle."

"To our human staff member: Attempt to put this on our heads and we will shred your hands. We are cats, not stupid dogs. Hear us and obey." 

Then I saw this one.

"Found out if you fill it with water and freeze it, it's sharp enough to kill your spouse with. Allegedly."

I decided NOT to get an Inflatable Unicorn Hat for Cathy after reading this review:

"Three weeks after receiving this product, my cat was killed and eaten by a dog wearing an inflatable Voldemort costume. I want my money back."

Yeah, I like my job too much.

But then I read this:

"This is the coolest thing ever. Dreams do come true. It also works on dogs. Props to the originator of this product."

Kevin.  Come out from under the ping-pong table!

I have the most scathingly brilliant idea!