Saturday, August 16, 2014
The Sexy Peach
There are some things that you just can't un-see.
Like peaches wearing panties. I doubt I will ever look at a peach the same way again.
Lingerie clad peaches are very popular in China, where they sell for 498 yuan, or $81 in U.S. currency.
That's way out of my blog budget.
So, I decided to make my own panty clad peach. I got a very nice peach at WalMart last Sunday. Then I cruised the aisles looking for something I could use to make into panties for my peach.
I hit pay dirt when I arrived at the infant sock section. But I wasn't sure the pink sock would fit over my peach's butt.
I looked around to make sure nobody was watching. The coast was clear. I attempted to pull up the sock over the peach. Damn if I didn't have the Kim Kardishian of peaches!
I moved up to toddler socks. I saw a pretty lace pair, but they were stapled together at the top. I held it up next to the peach looking back and forth from the sock to the peach when I heard, "Can I help you?"
"No. I don't think this is going to fit," I said.
My peach and I walked away. I decided I'd look for peach panties when I had more patience.
I forgot all about my peach lingerie project until today, when I noticed my peach sitting alone in the fruit bowl. And apparently, one week in human life is the equivalent of 50 peach years. My peach had aged significantly.
It not only had wrinkles; it had cellulite.
I'm sorry to say that my wrinkled up peach would look quite unattractive in sexy lingerie.
Which left me no choice: