I have just discovered the most incredible beauty product.
Dr Fukuoka Sleeping Anti-Wrinkle Pad.
You just wear it to bed and wake up with a more youthful appearance!
According to the advertisement on the Japan Trend Shop, the Dr Fukuoka Sleeping Anti-Wrinkle Pad is:
"specially designed to be easy to wear and beaver away firming up your neck, and all with no discomfort to the sleeper. You will hardly notice it is there while you get your forty winks. But it is all right, and working tenaciously to improve your beauty."
Wait one minute.
I do not want tenacious beavers firming up my neck while I'm sleeping. And I don't know about you, but beavers tenaciously firming up my neck would be a discomfort to me, the sleeper. HOW COULD I NOT NOTICE? I would never be able to get my forty winks. In fact, if beavers were attempting to firm up my neck while I was sleeping, I would be unlikely to get even 2 or 3 winks. And what if they had rabies?!
I just read the advertising again. Apparently, "beaver" is not just a rodent. It is a verb meaning to work very hard or industriously at something (usually followed by "away" ).
How very embarrassing. Please forgive my ignorance.
I've got work to do. I must beaver away on my vocabulary so I don't make any more egregious errors on my blog.
And in terms of this amazing product, I must do some brain beavering, because Dr Fukuoka Sleeping Anti-Wrinkle Pad cost $61 plus $13 shipping and handling, a bit above my beauty budget. It's apparently made of "stretchy elastomer".
I wonder if they sell elastomer at the Dollar Store?
I beavered away on dictionary.com to learn that elastomer is just a fancy word for rubber.
But the more beavering I do in inspecting the Dr Fukuoka Sleeping Anti-Wrinkle Pad illustration, I see that the purpose of the elastomer is to keep your chin back while you sleep.
Introducing the Nerdling Anti-Wrinkle Sleep System!
And it's free to all my readers. My creative beavering has not only given you a more youthful appearance, it has saved you money.