Thursday, January 17, 2013

Stop Drop and Snorkel

I wish I'd thought of this first.  I'd be a zillionaire.

But the Toilet Snorkel was invented 40 years ago by an undisclosed innovator. 

Let's call him "Dr. Privy".

Apparently, there had been a rash of fires in high-rise hotels in the early 1980s.  Dr. Privy, being both an engineering and marketing genius (like myself), identified an unmet consumer need: to breathe while your hotel room is in flames.

The Toilet Snorkel is a quite simple device.  All you have to do is insert the breathing tube (figure 2 #21) through the water trap of the toilet in your hotel room.   The tube will (hypothetically) reach to fresh* air from a vent pipe connected to a sewer line of the toilet.  

(*The air may not be "fresh" in the literal sense.   It will not, however, be smoky.)

Once the tube is in place, stick the other end into your mouth (figure 2 #18) and begin to breathe.  If you start inhaling toilet water, you probably didn't push the tube far enough.  Stop breathing and push the tube deeper into the toilet.

If you are still inhaling toilet water, push the breathing tube even deeper into the toilet.

You should stop trying once your face is submerged in the toilet water.  The party's over at that point.

Unless you packed your Wine Rack Sports BraSimply attach the wine catheter to the Toilet Snorkel and breathe.  

And if that doesn't work?  

You could always stop drop and roll.

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