Let me back up. I was trying to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift for Dave.
I wanted to find something memorable. Something that he could proudly show off at the neighborhood pool. Or at one of Becca and Brendon's pool parties.
And when I found The Smiffy Men's Borat Mankini Dress (in Green), I knew I had struck gold.
I checked out the reviews on Amazon.com and they were stellar:
"I bought this for myself, but after a few tries, I just didn't get used to it, so I gave it to my grandfather. It was an instant hit! All the people at the "home" love seeing papa parade around the place."
"Walking out to a cool, crisp morning in my mankini is refreshing. I can feel the wind course through my chest hair. I can feel the security of my manhood protected and comforted in the nice, soft material."
"I wear this over my Man bra, looks good together, it's the perfect combo."
OMG. It sounded perfect! I could hardly wait to see Dave model his mankini.
So, I was getting ready to add the The Smiffy Men's Borat Mankini Dress (in Green) to my Amazon.com shopping cart when I noticed their other product suggestions:
-a Mankini Thong swimsuit,
-a Leopard Print Mankini,
-a Union Jack Mankini, and...
-a Nancy Goes Out With Her Sister Doll?
What a great idea! I can get Dave a Smiffy Men's Borat Mankini Dress (in Green) AND a Nancy Goes Out With Her Sister Doll!
On second thought, perhaps the Amazon statisticians should tweak their next logical product model.
Yes, it appears that my good friend Multicollinearity has struck. At the risk of sounding conceited, Amazon should have asked me to help them build their model. (I am a stinkin' statistical genius after all.)
I'm certainly not afraid of no Multicollinearity! BRING IT ON, BITCH!
But truth be told, I was a bit disappointed in the suggestions. I was hoping to see a Borat Mankini Dress for women.
Dave's not the only one who likes to look good at the neighborhood pool.