Another Toto-Lee Ridiculous Japanese Product

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I must be missing something.

Don't get me wrong.  I know that dealing with unsanitary bathrooms is nasty business.

But we already have 4 excellent alternatives for dealing with treacherous toilets!  

First there's the The TSH (toilet seat hover- pictured at right).  And if your thighs aren't up for a TSH workout (or perhaps you are flying in turbulent conditions), you could attempt toilet seat origami (covering the toilet seat with TP).   

And don't forget about the two more ingenious alternatives, each of which I have previously blogged about:  The GoGirl portable urinary device for women (http://notesfromanerdling.blogspot.com/2011/05/wake-me-up-before-i-gogirl.html)

And for those of you who don’t mind having a urine filled catheter velcroed to the inside of your thigh, The Stadium Gal (http://notesfromanerdling.blogspot.com/2010/05/what-gal.html)

So I ask you this.  With all these potential options for putrid potties, why would anyone need a portable electric bidet?

Nah. I’ll pass.

Here’s what the Japan Trend Shop says about the Toto Travel Washlet:

Never fear unknown bathrooms again with the TOTO Travel Bidet. If you've become accustomed to the luxury of Japan's automatic washing toilets, it can be hard to deal with unsanitary bathrooms elsewhere in the world. How do you know the toilet paper is clean?

Hold it right there. "How do I know toilet paper is clean?"  

Listen, I’ve got enough crap to worry about (no pun intended)!  Please don’t introduce another irrational fear to my long list of "watch out fors".

According to the advertising materials, the Toto Travel Bidet has an “electric steam operation.” 

Hold it right there. Again. Is it just me, or would anyone else be a bit uneasy about any kind of electric steam operating anywhere around your….um…toilet areas?  

Wait!  There's more!  The Toto Travel Bidet has an adjustable strength stream, with both 3 hole and 5 hole options, which, kind of.…well, I’d just better not go there.

The main thing I don’t get about the Toto Travel Bidet is that it appears you have to be in sitting position, with your pants down, to operate the tool.   

Am I missing something?  If you are in an unsanitary bathroom, just where would you sit to operate the Toto Travel Bidet?  Say, for example, the Delta Airlines bathroom was not up to your sanitary standards.  Will you take your Toto Travel Bidet back to seat 35C to restore your...um...toilet areas to the pre-lavatory trip standards?

Nah.  This isn't for me.  Just give me a good old fashioned Stadium Gal and I'll be happy.