Where Have They Gone?

You know what gets on my nerves?  When a piece of dental floss breaks off between my teeth. And the string is too short and/or slippery to grab.

So I use another piece of dental floss to try and pull the broken-off piece out, but there's no room for the second piece because of the helpless, immobilized original piece of floss. 

So the second piece breaks off.  

You get the picture.

Yep.  That bothers me.

But you know what's even more irritating than un-dislodgable dental floss?

Orphan Socks.

I don't know if you knew this, but I'm very anal. And the fact that my orphan socks would beat my nice, orderly, paired socks at a game of basketball completely unnerves me.

I wanted to get to the bottom of this problem, so I conducted a root cause analysis on my orphan sock problem. And there are 3 root causes: Kimmy, Linda and Kevin.

First let me address Kimmy and Linda. Somehow, my sock drawer has become "our" sock draw.

And Kimmy and Linda do not practice my "Post Sock-Wear Safety Pin" process.

Oh, how I've tried to train them.  It's been fruitless. I've held plenty of training classes.

"Girls!  If you safety pin the socks together when you take them off, they return safely to 'our' sock drawer together!" 

4 eyes roll.  Nobody passed Orphan Sock Avoidance 101.

And then there's Kevin.  Need I say more?

And these root causes are interrelated. The other day I caught Linda taking off a sock and throwing it at Kevin to play with!

The thing is, I'm not even picky. I'll wear two different colored socks if necessary. I do, however, have to draw the line somewhere. 

Although this look may work well in theatre, it does not bode well in my day job.

Out of desperation I googled "orphaned socks" and found the following suggested uses for lonely sock orphans:

1.  Slip a pair over the hands of a nail biter, or a kid with a rash or hives.  

Were they not listening?  They are not a pair!!!  If I had a PAIR of orphan socks they would not be ORPHAN SOCKS.

 2. Make a chew toy.  

Hello!!  That's why we have so many orphans!

3. Sew a sock bed for your pet.  

Are you kidding?!!! 

Talk about rewarding bad behavior!

I guess I have to wait for the Japanese to come up with a solution for me.

Or perhaps I should sew them together with dental floss.