Martha Stewart would be so proud.
It has always my goal to make my guests comfortable and entertained in every stinkin' room of my house. Even the bathrooms.
Sure, I do have that fancy toilet, with its Q.C.S. (quiet close seat) technology. Bathroom guests can entertain themselves for hours, lifting the seat, nudging it, and then watching it s-l-o-w-l-y drop down without making a sound. Lift-nudge-drop...lift-nudge-drop.
Now that's entertainment.
The problem is, when you need to be entertained the most in the bathroom, you cannot (or should not) be in lift-nudge-drop mode. It could get a bit messy if you're playing lift-nudge-drop while you're ...um...(please pardon my crass language) going number 2.
I considered the Potty Putter game, but I kind of agree with Mark Twain: "Golf is a good walk spoiled". And if golf ruins a great walk, imagine what it would do to a good...um...number 2?
Especially if you were incapable of making a 3-inch putt.
I also thought about supplying Sodoku toilet paper. Although I would find that incredibly entertaining, not everybody is a nerdling. (And, between you and me, the thought of flushing an unused Sodoku puzzle down the toilet makes me break out in hives.)
It's a moot point, anyhow. For, you see, I have discovered the ultimate product for bathroom entertainment: Doo Doo Darts!
I know what you're thinking. What the heck are Doo Doo Darts, Lou?
It's a dart game!! The toilet shaped dart board is made of felt. And the Doo Doo Darts are...doo doo darts! But, relax; they're not real. They're made of plastic, and are wrapped in Velco so they stick to the toilet bowl when tossed.
The rules are simple: you throw the poo at the dart board. Toss it is the middle and get 100 points!
(I don't know about you, but I wouldn't award any points for hitting the seat.)
And, being the marketing genius that I am, I am considering turning this recreational entertainment complex into a profit center, by adding:
The Poop Bank!
(I have yet to work through my pricing scenarios.)
You see? This goes way beyond Martha. I mean, Donald Trump would be amazed at my stinkin' entrepreneurial genius.