I’m now into the third and final week of the “elimination” phase of my stupid diet.
And, although I’ve lost my muffin top, I’d sell my soul for a muffin top.
For 15 days I have been eating like an animal. More specifically an animal living in the damn Rain Forest.
Seriously. Like I could have a pot luck dinner with a Tapir. No problem. We eat the same thing. But if the Ornate Lorikeet joins us I'll have to make sure he doesn't slip any insects or grubs into his casserole.
(Although, insects and grub are probably permitted on this stupid diet.)
Sadly, we Rain Forest Herbivores cannot eat Bellacino’s Pizza.
Or White Bean Chili with a big dollop of Sour Cream.
Or Raisin Bagels with Honey Nut cream cheese.
Or Tin Roof Sundae Ice Cream with Hershey’s topping.
Or Publix Cakes with Buttercream Frosting.
Less than a week left to when I can start re-introducing foods into my poor emaciated body.
I just hope I have enough energy left to lift a steaming hot piece of pizza to my poor withered lips.
I may even invite my Rain Forest buddies. I hope they like Chadonnay.