Saturday, February 6, 2016

The Picture

“Is this you?” the guy at Muv Fitness asked, as he attempted to turn his computer screen in my direction.  “It doesn’t look like you.”

I was on the other side of the counter and since his computer screen was more than 2 inches from my nose, I couldn’t see it.  “I don’t know.  I can’t see it.”

The guy, let’s call him “Chad” looked back and forth between the screen and me. “Yeah, it’s you.  I think.  See?”

I couldn’t.

Muv Fitness had recently acquired my Gold’s Gym.  Chad was trying to convert my Gold’s key card to Muv and had to be 100% positive that I was the person on the screen.

“It looks like you’re wearing a horse t-shirt,” he observed.   “Do you have a horse t-shirt?  But I’m not sure it’s you.”

“Must be me.  I’ve got a horse t-shirt.”

“But it doesn’t look like you.  Well, it kind of does.”

I decided to take the bull by the horns.  “Can I walk behind the counter and look?”

He said, “Sure!!”

When I got to the computer I screamed in horror.  

Yes it was me, but I looked like I’d just stepped out of a box under the thru-way where I’d been living for 5 years.

All I could say was, “That’s not a horse.  That’s the Beast,” pathetically adding, “From Beauty and the Beast.”

But in my head I was thinking about the countless numbers of Gold’s Gym employees who have been looking at that picture every time I walked through the doors of that damn gym.  And comparing the picture to me.  And probably thinking, "She must be here for her monthly shower."

Chad said, “You look way better now.”  He was trying hard.  He added, “You look like you’ve gotten in better shape,” although I’m not sure how he could possibly conclude that from looking at the head shot of a street person.

I said, “Would you mind taking a new picture of me?”

Chad willingly agreed.  (He most-likely realized that he would not only be doing me a favor, but those who would no longer be exposed to the original.)

My new photo was 10000000% better than the old one. 

Before leaving, I thanked Chad for telling me that I didn’t look like my picture.  

And for giving me a blog topic. 

Then I grabbed my grocery cart..

 and headed back home.

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