It was that damn 24-ounce Blue Moon. That's why.
After that beer I knew I could do it. Sure, the course looked challenging, but I’d zip lined in three different countries. And lived to tell the tale.
So I bought my $15 ticket and left Dave in charge of the camera so he could document my audacious adventure. My adrenalin was pumping as I stood in line with all the other teenagers.
Except the line was hardly moving, and I was thirsty for another Blue Moon. To that end, I decided to leave and return in the morning.
I’m not sure how it happened, but sometime during the night they added another story to the structure. And a bungee rope at the end of the course.
I looked up at the ropes course that had looked so fun (and achievable) just 10 hours earlier. I gulped.
I could do this. Even the bungee. I jumped out of an airplane once. And lived to tell the tale.
I was the first customer of the day. Which, I supposed, was good. If I fell off a rope and remained precariously suspended in mid-air, fewer people be witnesses to the humiliation.
I joked nervously with the small army of teenage boys who hooked me into my
At the top of the stairs I contemplated the rope course. OMG. Who did they think I was, Nic Wallenda?
I took my first steps. Looking ahead, not down.
Because looking down reminded me that I was balancing on a rope five miles in the air.
The first rope bridge I crossed had little boards every foot or so. No problem. Except each stinkin’ rope after that got increasingly challenging. Then came Zip Line #1.
“You go first,” I said to the teenage rope attendant (let’s call him “Tyler”).
Tyler leaned back, lifted his feet and zoomed across effortlessly.
As did I. Screaming the entire way.
I looked down to see if Dave had witnessed my achievement. He did. Along with a small crowd of spectators. Damn.
It was time to ascend to the top level, where the difficulty of the ropes increased exponentially.
Please don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say by the end I was walking across dental floss.
However, with great determination and focus I made it through Zip Line #2 and the rest of the top-floor course. I was feeling good about myself until I remembered.
Another teenager, Justin, was manning the bungee platform.
“You go first”, I said to Tyler. He jumped.
“Did he splat?” I asked Justin.
“Nope,” Justin assured me as he transferred my cables to the bungee cord.
I looked down to see what must have been the entire population of a day camp field trip sitting below. Watching my every move. “Jump! Jump! Jump!” they chanted.
Like I was some jumper on the Golden Gate Bridge or something. Bunch of sociopaths.
I had no choice.
I took a step.
And landed on my butt on the launch pad.
I tried to ignore the giggles from below. I stood up and brushed off my pants, took a bigger step.
And landed safely. No splat.
I faced my audience, and took a bow as the small army of teenagers removed harnesses.
"Can I do it again?" I asked Tyler.
"Sure," he said, clearly surprised at my new-found bravery.
"Just checking," I said, as headed off to get a much needed Blue Moon.