Saturday, June 27, 2015

Rebranding the Fanny Pack

I admit it.  I was a bit fashion backwards when it came to giving up my fanny pack.

I refused to believe that such a functional accessory would ever go out of style.

Much to the chagrin of my children.

"Mom.  The '80s are over." 

"But it holds my keys.  Any my money.  And tampons."

"MOM!  Take that off!  What if we see someone from school?"

"And pens. And candy.  And puzzles."


In the end, when faced with the choice of my fanny pack or my family, I reluctantly picked my family.

And Kimmy someone threw away my fanny pack. 

Fanny packs get no respect.  Remember Jerry’s line to George on Seinfeld?

“It looks like your belt is digesting a small animal."

Well,  guess what?  Fanny packs are coming back.  Except they're being re-branded.  

They are no longer called fanny packs.  They are "Hands Free Bags."

I hope Kimmy has gotten over her aversion to fanny packs, because I'm getting a Hands Free Bag for my trip to New Zealand.

I just can't decide which style.  I've got it narrowed down to two:  the Unicorn Hands Free Bag

and the Glitter Hands Free Bag. Since I'll be representing the United States, I'm leaning towards this one.

I hope she doesn't get on my case about wearing a hands free bag. 

Because, really.  It could be way worse.  



  1. My vote is absolutely the patriotic hands-free bag! And I'll go ahead and save your family the agony and veto the last one. Nope, can't do it.

  2. I vote glitter. And now I'm going to have to get the man sack as a gag gift for my husband.

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