I refused to believe that such a functional accessory would ever go out of style.
Much to the chagrin of my children.
"Mom. The '80s are over."
"But it holds my keys. Any my money. And tampons."
"MOM! Take that off! What if we see someone from school?"
"And pens. And candy. And puzzles."
In the end, when faced with the choice of my fanny pack or my family, I reluctantly picked my family.
Fanny packs get no respect. Remember Jerry’s line to George on Seinfeld?
“It looks like your belt is digesting a small animal."
Well, guess what? Fanny packs are coming back. Except they're being re-branded.
They are no longer called fanny packs. They are "Hands Free Bags."
I hope Kimmy has gotten over her aversion to fanny packs, because I'm getting a Hands Free Bag for my trip to New Zealand.
I just can't decide which style. I've got it narrowed down to two: the Unicorn Hands Free Bag
and the Glitter Hands Free Bag. Since I'll be representing the United States, I'm leaning towards this one.
I hope she doesn't get on my case about wearing a hands free bag.
Because, really. It could be way worse.