Narrowing My Collection

My daughter Kimmy is going to be so excited.

 
I have completely outdone myself this time.  I have catapulted to a new pinnacle.

 

It is time for me to submit a video audition for Project Runway!  They need me.    

 
I am exactly what they are looking for.  I have the unique combination of creativity, fashion sense and personality to win the "$100,000 prize to start my own line, a fashion spread in Marie Claire magazine, a 2013 Lexus GS 350, a $50,000 technology suite by HP and Intel to create my own vision and run my business and the opportunity to design and sell an exclusive collection at Lord & Taylor."   (Now that's a mouthful!)

I'm certain my video will land me an audition, at which I must bring 5 or 6 of my garments that demonstrate my sewing skills and my fashion point of view.

Only 5 or 6?  How can I possibly narrow my collection down to 5 or 6?  Should I bring the Doggone Thong? 

My Arm Socks are certainly stylin'.  

And my Wine Holder Necklace is functional yet chic. 

Let's not forget the effective and elegant Camel Toe Cup. 
  

One thing's for sure.  I must bring Kimmy's pink shoes.

OMG!  I just had the best idea.  I am not going to tell Kimmy about her pink shoes.  What a fantastic surprise it will be for her to see them for the first time on Project Runway! 

Heidi Klum will say, "Those shoes are amazing!  What technique did you use in the design?" 

And I will demonstrate the proper blend of humility and pride as I describe purchasing the dog scrapbook paper and Mod Podge at Michaels.

 

And the process of cutting out the cute little dog pictures and mod-podging them to Kimmy's pink shoes that she forgot to take with her to Australia.

I wish I could see Kimmy's face when she sees how I transformed an ordinary pair of pink shoes into a work of art. 

Just thinking about that brings a tear to my eye. 

Of course, there are inherent risks associated with showing Kimmy's newly mod-podged dog shoes on Project Runway.  The shoes will no longer be a one of a kind item.  There will be knock-offs EVERYWHERE.

But I guess that's the price one must pay for fame.