Unnecessary Writhing

At first I was completely befuddled by Mio Lizawa's invention.  How in the world did she get her Writhing Umbilical Cord Phone Charger to writhe?

I had a bad case of invention envy.

But the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became. Phone chargers do not have to writhe.  

They only need to charge. 

And look good.

And to that end, I am confident that I could easily make a Non-writhing Umbilical Cord Phone Charger.

All I'd need is an Umbilical Cord.  And some duct tape.  And, of course, a phone charger.

I'd simply thread the phone charger through "said Umbilical cord".  I'd use duct tape to secure the charger in place (considering my last Super Glue experience).

And guess what?  Mio Lizawa's Writhing Umbilical Cord Phone Charger works only with I-Phones.  My non-writhing Version would work with any kind of phone, making it much more versatile.

Albeit less entertaining.

The trick, or course, would be to find the Umbilical Cord. 
 
I'm sure any hospital would give me their leftover Umbilical Cords!  

But every good inventor needs a plan B and my plan B is pure genius.

I would make a Faux Umbilical Cord Phone Charger  out of sausage.

I'll bet, to the naked eye,  you couldn't even tell the difference.

OMG!  I just thought of something!  

When you're phone is finished charging, you could eat your Faux Non-writhing Umbilical Phone Charger for lunch.

I think my case of invention envy has been cured.  I've got the best idea ever.  

And Mio Lizawa's is the wurst.