It's not that I don't have good practical joke ideas. I do!
In fact, I'm a stinkin' practical joke idea genius!
The problem is executing the practical joke. You see, I have no poker face. I giggle.
Technically, my breakdown begins with a shaking body... you know the kind you get when you're in church and you notice the guy with the wedgie sitting in front of you?
But I'm optimistic this time. The Creepy Eyes Prank project is perfect for me. All I have to do is make the Creepy Eyes, slip them on Dave while he's sleeping, and take a picture. Who needs a poker face when the victim is asleep?
First I needed to shop for materials for my Creepy Eyes Prank project.
"Hey, Dave. Linda and I are going to WalMart." I start to snicker.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
Then I picture Dave with with Creepy Eyes and try with great difficulty to maintain my composure. "You'll find out later," I snort.
But a big play in the football game distracted Dave.
Whew. Dodged THAT bullet. Just wait.
I was so excited!
I got my supplies (ping pong balls and paint) and made my Creepy Eyeballs. I gave them a realistic bloodshot effect and added some eyelashes. Don't they look great?
All I had to do was wait for Dave to fall asleep on the couch, place the creepy eyeballs on his face and snap the picture.
But unfortunately, I have another teeny tiny character flaw that interferes with good practical joke execution.
A lack of patience.
Dave was sitting up on the couch. I waited and waited and waited. For 3 minutes...4 minutes.
I yawned. Because yawns are contagious. "Aren't you tired?" I asked.
"Why don't you lay down close your eyes?" I asked.
"I'm not tired."
I considered slipping him a roofie, but I didn't have one handy.
I waited another 45 seconds and couldn't stand it anymore.
"Dave, will you take a picture of me wearing my creepy eyeballs?" I asked.
"Wait!" I said. "Let me add a mustache and grill. That will be so much more realistic!"
He reluctantly took another picture.
"Wait!" I said again, suddenly remembering my rubber nose.
"Just one more picture, OK?"
"Go away," he said.
But you know what?
Guess I fooled him! See? Who says I can't pull off a stinkin' practical joke?