Sunday, December 2, 2012

Nobody Dyed

I wouldn't say I was devastated.

I mean, nobody died.

Of course my beautiful cream colored shirt from Arden B that I love, love, love did not exactly survive intact.  Neither did 2 of my other white shirts. 

It was a laundry debacle.  My shirts fell victim to a purple tie-died dress that I bought from a vendor on a beach in St. Thomas. A dress that had apparently been tie-died  using a cross between blueberries, red wine and grape molasses. 

I suppose I should be happy that I have a husband who does all the laundry.  

A husband who has been doing laundry for decades.  Who learned 25 years ago that you should never mix colors.  Who should never have made such a rookie mistake costing me my beautiful cream colored shirt from Arden B that I loved nearly more than life itself.

I soaked the 3 shirts in OxiClean for 12 hours.  They faded from pink to a pale purple. 

A very ugly pale purple.

Divorce was an option, but Dave and I have been married for over 25 years.  I considered the children.  And Kevin.  What kind of example would we be setting if we didn't at least try to work things out?

Marriage counseling was definitely in order.  So I made a Rorschach Inkblot Test t-shirt out of one of the ruined shirts.

For those of you not familiar with the Rorschach Inkblot Test, it is a psychological test used to examine a person's emotional functioning, often employed to detect underlying thought disorder.

I decided to psychoanalyze Dave to determine the underlying reason for his decision to wash my 3 white shirts in warm water with a purple tie-died dress from St. Thomas. 

I know what you're thinking.  Using my formerly white shirt rather than a piece of paper for my Rorschach Inkblot Test is a bit passive aggressive.  You're wrong!  I simply could not find a suitable piece of paper, and my shirt was handy. 

I'm pleased to report a happy ending.  Our marriage has been saved.

It was truly a win-win situation.  I got a spiffy new shirt and Dave got to stare at my chest while I psychoanalyzed him.  

I concluded that it was not intentional.  It was just a senior moment.  (He is getting up there in age, you know.)

But just in case, I put the washing instructions on the back of my new purple Rorschach Inkblot Test t-shirt.

He can even read them without his reading glasses.

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