Friday, October 5, 2012

Stall Cinderella

It wasn't that she had a bad voice.  It was, in fact, quite lovely.

She should have had little costumed mice at her feet and tweeting birdies tying her apron.  She had that kind of a voice.

Sweet.  Melodic.  Chirpy.

But it was coming from a stall in the Ladies' Room at work: a boring, bare-bones, corporate campus bathroom.

I wondered for a few seconds if I was on Candid Camera.

I entered a stall: the one farthest away from the warbling, although I'm not sure why.  It's not like Cinderella Stall Singing is contagious.

"Who IS that?" I wondered.  Our bathrooms at work are usually quite uneventful.   In fact, the most drama I've ever experienced in a work bathroom was the time I noticed a clogged up toilet (of the # 2 variety) and decided to do my civic duty and flush.

Big mistake.

The water slowly began to rise, and much to my horror started cascading over the top of the toilet, leaving behind a most disgusting, unappetizing trail of slop.   

And I was like one of those stereotypically annoying victims in bad horror movies.  I was paralyzed in shock, my hand over my eyes, attempting to let the words escape. "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO". 

I ran back to my office, knowing that I should immediately contact our facilities management department to report the issue. 

But I didn't want them to think it was "mine."  

True, I found the toilet and I did flush it.  But it was someone else's #2! 

So I told my secretary that someone had made a mess in the Ladies' room. She called in the "incident."  

Hey!  Don't even go there.  I had to protect my reputation.

But, back to Cinderella in the stall.  I seriously wanted...needed to learn her identity.  Since she had arrived in her stall first, I assumed she would leave before I was done. I put my eye to the door crack and waited.  Nothing.  (Except the trills.)

"Come on Cinderella!" I thought to myself.  "Get moving!  I have a meeting in 2 minutes!" 

"La la la"

I looked under the stall to see if I recognized her shoes. 

OMG!  She was wearing glass slippers!

You know, that would have made so much better of an ending to this blog.  But she was wearing flats.  

Which narrowed it down to 95% of the women on my floor.

I finally gave up, flushed, and walked to the sink.  I washed my hands very thoroughly, watching the "Cinderella stall" in the mirror.   

Then I said, "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo" and she came out.

Again, that would have made a much better ending to this blog.  But the truth is that I couldn't wait any longer.  I had to get to my meeting and left without learning the identity of the Stall Cinderella.   

She must have been going #2.

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