I looked at the photo in disbelief. Was that what it looked like?
I shook my head.
"OMG!!", I thought.
Somebody has invented a Wine Rack Sexy Lace Bra.
What a great concept.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I love my Wine Rack Sports Bra. It is exceptionally functional.
I not only grow two cup sizes when I wear it, I can hold 25 ounces of adult beverage in the secret polyurethane bladder catheter thingee.
But it's not exactly what you'd call sexy.
Wait a minute!! This Wine Rack Sexy Lacy Bra has 2 straws!
Are you stinkin' kidding me? That means you could drink Chardonney from one side and, say, Margaritas from the other.
That is one genius inventor, I thought. Why didn't I think of it first?
Then I realized my mistake.
This was not a Wine Rack Sexy Lacy Bra.
It was a 'Trés Secret' Inflatable Bra, from the 1950s. Its makers promised the bra could give any woman "a boost to bosom beauty". According to their advertising materials, "Do it yourself. Make the most of you. Blow up!! To be the size you want".
I was dumbfounded. Disappointed.
Until I realized what that meant: The Wine Rack Sexy Lacy Bra has yet to be invented!
So I'm heading out to the Dollar Store. All I need is lingerie and a balloon.
Make that 2.