Sunday, July 22, 2012

A Little Burrito With Your Hot Sauce

It wasn't my first drive thru experience.  I swear.

I pulled up to the speaker.

"I'll have a bean burrito." "Crackle...crackle.. crackle..sss?"

It sounded like I was talking to someone in Beirut.

"What?" I said, louder.
" crackle..sss?"
I guessed.  "That's all I want"

I guessed again and pulled up to the first window.  It looked like a deserted storeroom, so I pulled up to the second window.  It opened.
"We needed you to go to the first window."
"There's nobody there."
"She's there now."

Now, I'm an excellent driver going forward.  Reverse?  In a narrow drive through lane?
Not so much.

I didn't quite drive INTO the first window, but I was close.  

And it could have been worse.

"That will be $1.89," the drive through girl (let's call her "Takita") whispered to me. 

 (That's how close to her I was.)  

"Would you like some hot sauce with your burrito?"   
I told her yes and handed her the money.
Takita gave me a bag and I pulled away.

I was going to wait until I got to work to eat, but I changed my mind.  I opened the bag with my right hand, and rummaged through the packets of hot sauce in search of my burrito.  

I couldn't find anything hot.  Was it already cold?   I knew she'd put the burrito in the bag, because the bag was heavy.  The burrito had to be in there!  Somewhere.

But I couldn't find it.  I got to a stop light and inventoried the contents of the bag:  3 napkins, 1 packet of hot sauce.  Another packet of hot sauce.  Another packet of hot sauce. 


I had 11 packets of hot sauce.

And no burrito.

Back to Taco Bell.

I had to wait in line at the drive thru again.  I considered driving through backwards, but figured the joke might have been lost on them. 

When I got to the  speaker,  I radioed Beirut to tell them I was returning for the burrito I'd forgotten to pick up on my first trip.  I then stopped at the first window and gave Takita 10 of my 11 packets of hot sauce.

I pulled up to the second window where two employees were waiting with big smiles on their faces.  It may have been my imagination, but I think they may have been laughing at me.  

They handed me a bag that weighed about the same size as my first (burrito-less) bag.   

And just for kicks I said, "Can I get some hot sauce with my burrito?"

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