Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Yeah, We've Got Trouble!

At the risk of sounding like a prude, please make this product go away.

I want Kevin to be happy. I really do! He's got toys in every room of my house. But he does not need one of these.

As my readers my know, I'm a big fan of musical theater. And one of my favorite musicals is "The Music Man". And one of my favorite songs from the show is "Ya Got Trouble", sung by con man Professor Harold Hill, as he convinces the River City, Iowa parents that their new pool table will be a corrupting influence on the boys in their town.

Well, this product is trouble!
With a capital T and that rhymes with D and that stands for
Doggie Lover Doll.

Yep.  Doggie Lover Doll is an "adult" toy for dogs.

This product will undoubtedly corrupt sweet, innocent little Kevin!  

He'd become a Puppy Pervert in the blink of an eye. Before you know it, he'd start hiding "those" magazines under his doggie bed. He'd sneak out of the house late at night to go to doggie strip clubs.

He'd watch Lady and the Tramp without my permission!

I must warn those faint of heart to stop reading this now, as I describe the Doggie Lover Doll in greater detail.

Seriously.  Are you sure you want to keep reading?

The doll is described by the company as “a female canine manufactured in soft rubber with a silicone vagina and an easy to clean reservoir.”

Easy to clean reservoir?  Excuse me. I have to go take a shower.

The product also comes with a tube of water-based intimate lubricant, to increase the usefulness of the doll. It is available in three sizes: small, medium and large, to satisfy all breeds.

Excuse me, again. I have to vomit. And take another shower.

And I thought the Nosefrida Snot Sucker was disgusting.

Yeah, we've got trouble. 

With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Puppy Porn. 

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