Friday, February 17, 2012

The Hostess with the Mostest

It’s hard to believe we came from the same parents. The same gene pool.

When I have an ant problem, I pull out the Raid. Or call the Bug Man.

Not Jean Anne. If fact for her, an ant occupation in her bathtub was not a "problem". It was an "opportunity" to entertain uncountable guests of the 6-legged variety.

“Hey Loulie, did I tell you about the ants in my tub?”

My ears perked up. (I’m always on the alert for good blog material.)

“Well, last summer, when I was giving my outdoor plants a shower in my bathroom…”

“Stop right there. Why were you giving your outdoor plants a shower in your bathroom. Don’t you have a garden hose?”

“They love to take showers inside," she said matter-of-factly.

I was a bit disappointed at this point.  A blog about giving your outdoor plants a shower in the house?  Strange, yes, but not really blog-worthy.

Jean Anne continued. "At the end of the shower I found about a thousand ants in the bottom of my tub." Then she shook her head in awe. "Cutest little guys you've ever seen.”

Now, we're getting somewhere, I thought. I knew what was coming.

“Don’t tell me. You tried to rescue the ants," I said enthusiastically.

“Of course I did! What would you do?”

“Grab the Raid”

“Oh stop, Lou! You can easily sweep them onto paper with a whisk broom and take them outside!"

At this point my brother-in-law Mark piped in. “Well, it wasn’t quite that easy. Some of them went into those spa water spout thingees. We were finding ants in the tub for months.”

Jean Anne quickly added, “And I started worrying about them. What would they eat?  They could starve in our bathroom!”


“Don’t tell me. You fed the ants.”

“I had to! What would you have done?"

“I would have grabbed the Raid months earlier.”

So Jean Anne began preparing little ant brunches of apple pieces and placed them in her tub. When the ants were done eating lunch, she would take them outside.

Except winter came and she was facing a dilemma. If she took the "cute little guys" outside with the temperature below freezing, they would most certainly die. 

So now, she and Mark are hosting Louisville’s first Ant B&B.

It probably comes as no surprise to my readers that I have a solution to their problem. (And I will generously give them a family discount for my (genius) idea.)

Jean Anne and Mark have the raw materials for an exceptional product. If they act fast they can open a stand at the Derby.

Or, they could always grab the Raid.

1 comment:

  1. Next time you visit Jean Anne take her some SC
    Fireants. A welcomed present, I bet! LOL