Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sampling the Sushi

It was embarrassing to say the least, and completely avoidable.  I should never have let Linda talk me into sampling sushi.

Don’t get me wrong; I have nothing against sushi. I think sushi is very pretty. It would make lovely earrings.

But I prefer my edible pastels to be of the candy variety.

With that said, when Linda begged me to buy some sushi at Publix last Sunday so she could try it, I agreed.

The problem was that we were sushi virgins, and the sushi inventory was vast and, frankly, overwhelming.  So we asked the nice Japanese man standing behind the counter (let's call him "Takayuki") for advice. 

"Excuse me, sir, but which of these would be best for sushi newbies?"

Takayuki looked at us in confusion.  Apparently he was not fluent in English and thought we were asking to sample sushi. He sliced a couple pieces and handed them to us.

“Oh, no thanks!” I said politely, backing away.
“Try it, Mom!”  Linda encouraged.

I inspected it.   

“What’s in it?” I asked Takayuki. He came around the counter and pointed at a sign. Linda read the ingredients. “It has raw crab and avocado rolled in sea weed covered with white rice”

“Are you stinkin’ kidding me?” I asked, suppressing a gag.

Then, as Takayuki watched, Linda and I regressed to a couple of 5 year-olds. 

“You try it”. 
"No, you try it first"
"No.. you. No you  No you..No you..."

Where’s Mikey when you need him?

Linda took the first plunge. Then she elbowed me, and waited for me to do my part. Takayuki was looking at me expectantly. Since I'd rather die of food poisoning than hurt someone's feelings, I took a teeny tiny nibble.

It was horrid.

“Thank you so very much!” I said, backing away while Takayuki shook his head in what appeared to be a combination of disappointment and pity.

Linda pushed me down the soda aisle spitting the mouthful of sushi into her hand. I was retching, but managed to suppress the urge to vomit.  Somehow we managed to avoid the embarrassment of "Clean-up in Aisle 9".

Then my Catholic guilt kicked into gear.  Big time.  We had insulted  Takayuki, his sushi, and most likely his entire culture!    

So on the way out of the store, I found a manager and told him what a fabulous employee Takayuki was and how he had given us samples of the best sushi I'd ever tasted.

It was also the worst sushi I'd ever tasted, but I left that part out.

But guess what!  I've been converted!

I love sushi now!  I found the perfect sushi for someone like me:

Twinkie sushi. 

It's absolutely delicious.  And good for you, too!

I found the recipe today on the Hostess Twinkie web site and cooked up a batch of my own.  And it only takes 3 ingredients: Twinkies, green fruit roll ups, and candy.

I think Takayuki would love it. 

I'll have to bring him a sample.

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