Saturday, July 16, 2011

Quit Picking on Me!

I admit it. I'm a scab picker.

If there was a Scab Picker's Anonymous, I'd be a regular attendee.  "My name is Lou and I'm a scab picker."

How bad is my habit?  Pretty bad.  In fact, I actually like mosquito bites. Why?  Because they turn into scabs and I can pick them! I can make one mosquito bite last about 3 weeks if I'm lucky!

Don't judge me! It could be worse. Personally, I believe scab picking is several rungs up the ladder from nose picking.

And I don't pick nose scabs. 

(At least scabs inside my nose.)

You may wonder why I'm coming clean with my scab picking. Well, it's because of a product I happened upon today. It's quite a niche product, targeted towards people like me: people with scab picking disabilities. I mean, who else could this product possibly be geared for?

In terms of weirdness, this product is right up there with the Pee & Poo plush. In fact, it could sit right next to Pee & Poo on a shelf in your playroom!

It's the Bandage & Scab plush set.

The scab has a name! Crustopher!!

Here's what the box says:

Hey everybody my name's Crustopher the Scab. I'm that best friend you just love to pick on. I come complete with a blood-stained bandage. "It's my blanket!" Hold me, tickle me, nibble my crispy edges, just don't forget I'm a part of you.

Wait a minute. This guy has serious issues! I pick my scabs. I don't nibble on their crispy edges.

I have lost my appetite.

In fact, I was just about to eat a taco, but thinking about eating the edges of a scab has repulsed me.  I may not be able to eat for hours.

This mustached poop taco will have to wait until later.

1 comment:

  1. YOu're a mess...LOL....Was thinking about you last night as I sit in the audience of Cinderella at Workshop Theatre. What a show we did back then. Your Step Mother role was such a hoot. This production was so different than ours.