Beetle Mania

As soon as I saw the Japanese Rhinoceros Beetle Earrings on the Japan Trend Shop web site I knew I must have a pair.

Imagine the fun I would have!   I mean, it looks like that stinkin' thing is crawling O.U.T. of her E.A.R. 

(I love doing that period between the letter thing.) 

But I really couldn’t justify the $40 price tag.  And that’s for just one earring. 

I mean, really.... Why would I spend $80 for a pair of Japanese Rhinoceros Beetle Earrings when I could make my own?

I was a bit disappointed to find that the Dollar Store was out of toy beetles. I had no choice but to look at Walmart, where I wandered the toy department unsuccessfully. 

Nothing.  Are you kidding me?  No toy beetles?!! What is wrong with this world? 

I asked an employee if they had any rubber cockroaches.

"You mean the ones that you get to scare people?” he asked. 
“I guess.”

“Well, what are you going to do with it?”

“Make cockroach earrings."

 “I don't think we have any,” he said as he walked away. 

I finally found a bag of plastic bugs in the party favor department.  But they were pastel colored.  I'm sorry, but who is going to be fooled by a stinkin' pastel Palmetto bug?

Then I had a scathingly brilliant idea.  The fishing aisle had bugs.  Bugs that fooled fish.  If they fooled fish, they would certainly fool my friends.  And co-workers.

Did I ever score.  I found the grossest, most realistic package of bait I could ever imagine.

Finally!  

I grabbed the package of Crazy Legs Chigger Craw and went to the craft section to pick up some earring wire.

What was that smell?  

These people of Walmart need to shower.  Gross.

I stopped at the pharmacy to get a prescription.  Again.  That smell.  People, it’s 100 degrees outside.  You have to wear deodorant. 

When I was checking out of the store I came to the realization that my Crazy Legs Chigger Craw was scented.  To attract fish.  

It was not the People of Walmart.  It was my Crazy Legs Chigger Craw.

There’s no way I was going to have Crazy Legs Chigger Craw earrings within 3 inches of my nose.

I had no choice but to purchase the pouch of pastel beetles. When I got home I picked out the most realistic looking critter in the bag and went to work.  

I just had to saw him in half and insert the earring stud.

Ta-da!

I think my new earrings are amazing. 

 

That beetle may not look realistic, but he does match my hat.