Saturday, May 10, 2014

Run Forrest Run!

Leaves of three.  Let it be?

Are you stinkin' kidding me?  Leaves of three, get the hell out of there.  As in Run, Forrest run!

Did I run?  No.  I just kept pulling those vines off the shrubs in our back ’40.

Why?   Agricultural arrogance.

I thought that just because I could grow tomatoes, I was a horticultural prodigy.

It is true that my tomato plants, of which I am inordinately proud, are ready to audition for the part of Audrey 2 in Little Shop of Horrors

But who am I kidding?  I’m not ready for the 4-H.  I’m  Green Acres' Lisa.  A failure at farming.

I don’t know my grass poison ivy from a hole in the ground. In fact I created the hole in the ground by pulling out the poison ivy.
I'm hanging up my overalls. 

Ya know what?  I had another moment of self realization as a result of my poison ivy outbreak.

I rest my chin in my hands. A lot.

And I apparently rested my chin in my hands a lot after weeding those damn leaves of three.

Because Poison Ivy has infiltrated my neck and chin.  And it itches like there is no stinkin’ tomorrow. 

Just writing about it makes me want to itch it.

But I can’t.  Because if I scratch it, it gets itchier. 

And it spreads.  It’s already made its way up my cheeks. 

Does anyone have any sandpaper I can borrow????

OMG. It's headed towards my brain!!!!!


I just found a homemade poison ivy remedy online!  I'm sure it's going to cure all.

It's made from scratch.

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