Monday, February 13, 2017

The Naval Warmer

Being cold natured, I'm a big fan of "warmer" gear.  Hand Warmers?  Ear Warmers?  Leg Warmers?  Bring'm on.

I even have a Neck Warmer.

But I've never considered getting a Navel Warmer. 

It just never occurred to me that warming my navel would help warm up my entire body.  But according to the Japan Trend Shop it does!

My Mom always told me to wear a hat in the winter because my body heat would escape through my head if it wasn't covered.

The Navel Warmer probably works the same way.

But then again, I rarely leave home with my navel uncovered.  Part of the reason I keep it covered is that I'd freeze my butt off if my navel was uncovered. 

A more significant reason for leaving it covered is that I fear exposing my navel to the world would cause significant civil unrest.

Wait a minute!  I may have this all wrong.

Perhaps leaving my naval exposed in public would actually reduce divisiveness!  People from all races, genders, and political agendas would unite for this cause.

"Gross!  Who does she think she is?  Beyoncé?"
"I wish I could un-see that." 

"Cover that thing up!"

I have my doubts about the new Lady Warmer Hezo Kyu Navel Warmer

They claim it's practical (and safe!) in that you don't need to light anything up.  You just put the Navel Warmer in the microwave for 30 seconds, take it out, and place it on your naval.

That's so much better (and safer!) than lighting a campfire atop your navel.

But then again, the Lady Warmer Hezo Kyi Navel Warmer is not inexpensive ($210 plus shipping and handling).
I think I'll just take my chance with the campfire.

Besides, if the fire spreads, I'll warm up even faster.

No comments:

Post a Comment