Wednesday, February 8, 2017

The Missing Questions

The email came out of the blue.  From a marketing manager at PuppySpot, a company whose mission it is to make lives better by placing healthy puppies into happy homes.  One thing I liked about PuppySpot is their "No Puppy Mill Promise."  They have zero tolerance for substandard breeding practices.  Amen!

Rachel thought it would be great if I would let my readers know about a fun flowchart she had created that helps link personality traits in people to their most compatible breeds.  She offered to show it to me.

Even though I hate puppies, I asked Rachel to send me her flowchart so I could consider writing about it.

OK, you guys all know that I'm lying about hating puppies, right?  I like puppies way better than most people.  Especially teenagers.  And politicians.

Here's Rachel's fun flow chart.

It starts off well.  The first question is, "Where do you live?" which is a very helpful question to help you narrow down the optimal breed of your future pup.  Although the rest of the questions are good, the list seems to me to be incomplete.

Um, Rachel?  I respectfully suggest adding the following questions to your flowchart:

"Do you own a good vacuum cleaner?"  and "Do you have packing tape?"  If the answer to both of these questions is no, you should probably avoid a Chow Chow.

And what about, "How big is your shovel?"  Unless it is large, you may want to cross Great Danes off your list. 

"Do you mind if your dog eats your furniture?" is also missing from the list, as is "Do you  mind if your puppy eats your underwear?"  If the answer to either of these questions is yes, you may want to get a fish.

And what about, "Do you want to dress up your dog for social occasions?"  I'm pretty sure there are some breeds that would not be amenable to wearing a doggie tutu.

But then again, maybe I'm wrong about that.

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