You just can’t be too careful when it comes to the sun's harmful rays. Especially when you’re a redhead. Who lives in South Carolina.
And for those of you who think that my red hair comes from a bottle??? I have proof that it doesn't:
Of course, the photo also demonstrates my bowtieosia. I’ve been fighting that disability for years. Thank God I wasn’t born a Croatian mercenary in the 17th century. I’d have been in trouble.
Or a Fried Chicken magnate.
There goes my A.D.D. again. I need to focus on the topic at hand, which is the most revolutionary new product I just found on the Japan Trend Shop website! It is absolutely perfect for redheads living in South Carolina.
It's called the UV Cut Athlete Anti-Sunburn Mask. According to the advertising copy, it will keep your face, neck, and other areas safe from sunburn!
So, rather than applying that pesky sunscreen all over your face, you only have to apply it to your ears, around your eyes, and your forehead! And look how happy you become when you wear your UV Cut Athlete Anti-Sunburn Mask:
And look how happy it makes people who see you wearing your UV Cut Athlete Anti-Sunburn Mask:
But you know what? The UV Cut Athlete Anti-Sunburn Mask is not inexpensive. It costs $45. Plus shipping.
I don't need no stinkin' abacus to conclude I could buy a boatload of sunscreen with that money. (Although, admitedly, sunscreen isn't nearly as much fun as the UV Cut Athlete Anti-Sunburn Mask.)
This probably will surprise none of my readers, but I made my own UV Cut Athlete Anti-Sunburn Mask. For way less money.
And my Nerdling Anti-Sunburn Mask covers your entire face, including your ears, eye area and forehead.
And it even comes with a bow tie.