The Dual Purpose Panties

At the risk of being labeled a germaphobe, I have been a wee bit concerned about my upcoming flight to New Zealand.  I'll be flying 45% of the way around the world.  Aboard a Petri dish.

So you can imagine my excitement when I saw the latest product on the Japan Trend Shop web site: the Pantsu Mask.  

If I had my own Pantsu Mask I would no longer have to worry about any nasty airborne germs.

Not to mention the secondary product benefits.  I mean,  who would want to talk to someone wearing a pair of panties on her face?

You’ve all been there.  Chatty Cathy sits down next to you and immediately asks you where you’re from.

“Oh!  You’re from Columbia?  What a coincidence!  My sister’s niece went to Columbia College.  It was her sister-in-law’s daughter, otherwise she would have been my niece, too.  Or my daughter.  (Giggles)  That’s so funny.  But I don’t have any girls.  Just three strapping boys.  My oldest….”

I decided to order the Pantsu Mask.

But it won’t be available until September 23!

I’ll be back from New Zealand way before then.  Probably suffering from some nasty strain of flu I picked up in that Petri dish. 

Or Ebola.

The Japan Trend Shop web site sells other face masks.  I considered the Doraemon Gonoturn Face Mask but it seemed so, I don’t know.... juvenile.  

And even worse- a potential conversation starter.

I love this one, but I thought it might land me in some New Zealand prison.

  
I am not taking any chances on this vacation.  I decided to make my own.

It really was quite easy, for a Nerdling as creative as me.  I didn't even have to drive to the Dollar Store:

It will work perfectly, protecting me from both germs and gabs.

If only I could get it away from Kevin.  He thinks it's some kind of doggie ascot.

Which is absolutely ridiculous.  Who would make a doggie ascot out of panties?