Sunday, March 8, 2015


I have no one to blame but myself.

I was joking around with Debbie, one of my cast mates in Funny Little Thing Called Love.  She told me that she was going to take a break from theater after our show closed.

Except she said, "Thee – A – Ter".  With the emphasis on the A. 

“Debbie,” I teased.  “You are not taking a break from
Thee – A – Ter.  It’s thee-uh-ter.  Soft A.

We debated for a few minutes the correct Northern versus incorrect Southern pronunciation of the word.  

I then asked her how she pronounced the word i-n-s-u-r-a-n-c-e and she, of course said "INsurance".  And I informed her that the correct pronunciation is "inSURance".

I continued.  “And how do you pronounce the word c-e-m-e-n-t?”  I was enjoying myself.

“It is SEEment,” Debbie said, beginning to get annoyed at my cockiness.

“Si-ment,” I corrected. "Unless, of course, you're Elly May Clampett."

“WAIT A MINUTE,” Debbie said.  “I’ve been meaning to tell you that you pronounce “realtor” wrong on stage EVERY NIGHT.”

 “No I don’t!”  I replied, defensively.

 “You put an extra A in it!!!” she said.  “You say, realator.”

 “That’s how it’s pronounced,” I said.  “Realator.”

“But it’s spelled r-e-a-l-t-o-r.”  Debbie said, smugly.


I’ve been saying "realator" all my life.  Is it a New York thing?  Or a Wisconsin thing? 

Or just a Lou thing?

Like when I pronounced foreign ‘for-ee-gin’ in 5th grade.

OMG! How humiliating!

I had pronounced the word incorrectly six shows in a row!  And I was just learning of the transgression minutes before our last performance. 

I could fix it.  I WOULD fix it.  Better late than never, right?

As I waited offstage for my cue I repeated the words, “realtor, realtor, realtor” in my head.    Debbie came up behind me and whispered, “realtor.” 

I made my entrance, silently repeating the words “realtor, realtor, realtor”.   

Then came my line:

“I went to a condo open house the other day and guess who the reala..real. turned out to be?”

I said it just like that.


Oh well.  It just proves that anything can happen onstage.

After all, it is live thee-A-ter.

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