Sunday, December 21, 2014

Toot Toot

When I saw the latest product on the Japan Trend Shop's web site I realized that I am not equipped to evaluate men’s underwear.  

I studied the advertising copy:

Toot  is a super durable series of underwear. But that's not all. The Toot Nano Colors No Slip Underwear look great AND are designed to keep your little friend in the same position. That's right. Whatever happens, your buddy won't move around because it is being housed in a special Toot cup.

I had no idea that men struggled with this problem!  I decided to interview the man in the house to determine if that is an issue in this country.

Lou: How important is it that your underwear prevents your buddy from moving around?
Dave: My what?

Lou: Your buddy…you know…your little friend…your penis.
Dave: What are you doing?  Go away.
Lou: Come on!  I’m doing serious research for my blog.  Does your buddy move around in your underwear?
Dave: Go away.  No comment.

As I was walking away, dejected by the outcome of my interview, Dave threw me a bone.

“Not if you’re wearing a jock strap.”


But that didn't really shed much light on the situation.  I was still skating on thin ice.  I needed more data.

I decided to ask my brother.  

He has one.

Lou: How important is it that your underwear prevents your buddy from moving around?
Tom: Short leash.  Not a problem.


I guess maybe the Toot Nano Colors Underwear would be of value to those men without a short leash. 

But do they work?  Do they really keep your buddy still?

Apparently there is a sophisticated underwear engineering test lab located in Japan where the Toot Underwear was taken through a gamut of testing.  It was all documented in this video.

(Oh, my.  What a handsome test engineer.)

After viewing the test video, I became convinced of two things.  First, the Toot Nano Colors No Slip Underwear would certainly come in handy under certain conditions.  

Regardless of the length of your leash.

Secondly, and most importantly, I’m glad I don’t have a penis.  

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