Saturday, November 1, 2014

The Evasive Pop Tart

It was almost impossible to believe.

I’ve never seen a Pop Tart go to such extremes to avoid being consumed. 

I didn’t hear the toaster pop up, but it had.  And my Pop Tart was missing.   I looked around.  Who could have possibly pilfered my Pop Tart?   Dave?  Nah.  Maybe if it was a Cheeseburger Pop Tart.  But it was Brown Sugar & Cinnamon. 

It wasn’t Linda.  She was still in bed (since it was before noon). 

Kevin was the next logical suspect, but he’s too short to reach the counter. 

Where did it go?  I looked inside the toaster.


It was literally hiding at the bottom of the toaster.  It had folded itself in half and was attempting to slink its way out the bottom.  Like Flat Stanley.


“Exactly where do you think you’re going, Pop Tart?” I asked the fleeing felon as I grabbed a fork.

WAIT!!!  Did I really want to risk my life for a Pop Tart

No, I did not.  So I unplugged the toaster.

By the time I returned to the chase, only the tail end of the Pop Tart was in sight.  I attempted to grab him with a fork.  A fight ensued and he fought for his stinkin’ life.  

Make that his sweet smelling life.  I removed my weapon and came out with HALF of a Pop Tart.

I looked inside the toaster.  Where the heck was the rest of him? 

I opened the secret escape hatch on the bottom.  Empty.

OMG. This was no ordinary Pop Tart.  It was Harry Houdini himself hiding in a Brown Sugar & Cinnamon pastry.

I thought seriously about pushing down the toaster button, which would essentially send him..or half of him... to a fiery death in toaster hell.  

But that's just not me.  I'm merciful.  Benevolent.  Nice.


I don't like my pop Tarts too crispy.

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