Saturday, February 1, 2014

Defying Gravity

And not a minute too soon.

I was about to give up the fight against my sagging bust!  I tried the Oyasumi Goodnight Keep Bra Bust-keeper, but frankly, it did not live up to my expectations. 

I guess my girls were too much for it.  Gravity prevailed.

I’m hoping that will not be the case for the Oppai Taiso Breast Gymnastics Night BraBust Anti-Sagging pad.

I think it's a superior product. It’s for gymnasts. 

Like me.

Because we gymnasts typically have huge boobs. 

It is a well-kept secret in the world of gymnastics, that a large bust can create havoc on the balance beam. 

I can certainly attest to that.

In fact, my double Ds were my downfall in the 1984 Olympic games.

Gravity took over and another Mary Lou came from behind to become the first American woman to collect a gold ribbon in Gymnastics.

One can only imagine how different my life would have been had the Oppai Taiso Breast Gymnastics Night BraBust Anti-Sagging Pad been around when I mounted that balance beam back in the 1984 U.S. Nationals. 

Gravity would not have prevailed, the 5 times it did.  I would have been as graceful as a gazelle, with the girls gathered tightly in place.  

I most certainly would have beaten that bitch Mary Lou.

And it would have been me on the Wheaties Box.

No use crying over spilt cereal milk.  I say better late than never!  I’m starting my training tomorrow. 

It’s less than 18 months before the 2016 Summer Olympics.  Look out Brazil, here I come! 

Me and my Oppai Taiso Breat Gynmnastics Night BraBust Anti-Sagging Pad.  

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