Nail on the Head

Who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. 

Sure.  I’ve never been able to successfully pull off a practical joke in my entire life.

But I’ve never had a Fake Nail Through the Finger before! 

Just looking at it makes me giggle!!

But I can’t giggle.  That’s always been my downfall.   Whenever I attempt to pull off a prank, the snorting begins.  All I have to do is look at the person I’m trying to prank and I start sniggering. 

(Like the day I wore my bacon bandage to a meeting.)

But I was prepared this time.  I developed a plan. 

I knew I couldn’t just run to Dave with a nail through my bloody finger and say, “OMG!  Look what happened to me!  I just hammered a nail through my finger!”
 
He’d never buy it.  He’s way too smart for that.  He’d wonder why he hadn’t heard any hammering before my accident.

So I got a hammer and real nail and announced loudly that I was going to be hammering a nail into the wall.  In fact, I showed him the new key holder that I purchased.  “See this new key holder?” I said, holding it up proudly, not unlike Vanna White in Wheel of Fortune.  “I’m going to hammer this into the wall next to the back door.”

Just for effects I said, “I better be careful not to hurt my finger, or anything.”   

Dave ignored me.

“I mean, a hammer is a dangerous tool.  Who knows what could happen if I miss the nail.”   

Dave ignored me.

I left the room and implemented my plan.  I hammered several times and screamed. 

I put my fake nail and the bloody bandage around my finger, running dramatically into the family room, sounding remarkably like Meryl Steep and whimpered, “Dave!  Look what I’ve done!”

He glanced at my finger and said, “I hope you didn’t spend more than a dime on that stupid thing.”
 
I must admit that I fell short of my goal.  Although I did manage to pull off the stunt without one giggle, it was not convincing. 

But I know where I went wrong.  

I put it on the wrong appendage.  

Dave would have completely fallen for the Fake Nail Through the Toe trick.  Hook line and sinker.