Friday, September 6, 2013

Desiring Dimples

When my friend, Chris suggested that I blog about the Dimple Machine I was was swept into a wave of Deja Vu. 

You see, I have very fond memories of this amazing invention.  It was in my parents' Medical Book.   

The Clyde Medical Book was the most popular piece of literature in the neighborhood among the under-12 crowd.   It was about 3 inches thick and had information about every ailment you could imagine.  

But, by far, the best part of the book was the notorious photo gallery containing images of things like ringworm.  And cold sores.  And malformed genitalia. 

We never tired of that book.  It was so gross.  

I miss that book.

But, Chris was onto something! I don't have dimples (on my face that is) I wanted to test drive the Dimple Machine.  I needed to test drive the Dimple Machine.  

But sadly, the Dimple Machine is no longer on the market.

Did that stop my quest for a dimple?  No sirree.  I carefully studied the illustration of the product, and determined that centering the ends of a headband on my cheeks would probably do the trick. 

So I attempted to re-purpose my Cameltoe Headband on my face.  It kept falling off.

I was getting frustrated.  I wanted dimples. There had to be another solution.  

So I did some research.  And learned that all I need is chop sticks.  

It not only worked for her, it worked for her sister!

And if that's not convincing enough,  a young man who goes by the name of "ExpiredRaymen" provides even more evidence.

Considering that I require Nitrous Oxide to get my teeth cleaned, I am a bit concerned that I will have the necessary stamina to poke myself with chopsticks for "alot of time." 

And what if I don't look good with dimples?  I mean, my face is pretty perfect right now.  What if chopstick dimples ruin my looks?  

I may be permanently scarred.  

Just to be safe, I decided to see how I would look with dimples.  So I did a little PhotoShopping:

That is when I had my epiphany.  Who needs chopsticks to get dimples?  All you really need is Band Aids!

But flesh tone Band Aids make for such boring dimples.  

Who wants boring flesh toned dimples, when you can have colorful, Angry Bird Dimples?

And the best part?

No Chopsticks required.

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