Sunday, November 4, 2012

In a Clutch

Where the heck is my Kitchen Guardian Angel when I need her?

She should have said, "Step away from the Super Glue!"

But then again, I  would have ignored her, as I always do. And she would have gotten to say, "I told you so."

So, it's probably better that she was nowhere to be found while I was working on my latest project: the VHS Cassette Clutch.

I'm sometimes accused of rushing into projects without careful planning.  However, in my defense, I have been blessed with an over-abundance of "Nerdling Enthusiasm,"   which has led to unfortunate results on one or two.. a few.. many occasions.

But I was bound and determined to succeed this time.   I wanted my own VHS Cassette Clutch!  To that end, I approached the project methodically, requiring the attendance and participation of every anal gene in my body.

I read the directions several times.  I made a shopping list and collected all the materials I needed for my project: 1 VHS tape, (I chose Richard Scarry's Learning Songs videos), cloth, packing tape, super glue, a crochet hook, 2 hinges, a glass of wine, a glue gun, scissors, wire cutters, and screw drivers. 

Check. Check. Check.

The first step was disassembling the VHS tape.   I have 2 words for Step 1: Stinkin' Fun.  Step 2 was clipping off the peg-like protrusions inside the VHS tape.  Even more fun. 

I was getting confident.  Bring on Step 3. 

Apply the hinges with Super Glue. 

Uh oh.  My hinges were a wee bit large for my VHS cassette tape.

Back to Lowes for smaller hinges.  Perfect fit.  

I applied the Super Glue, but it didn't stick.  The hinge kept sliding around, so I held it in place with my fingers. 

The hinges stopped sliding around. They stuck.  To my fingers

I used a pen to hold the hinges in place.  Then the pens stuck to my fingers.   I decided to skip Step 3 and move on to the next step, which involved using packing tape to make a window into my purse.

Shut the front door!  Do I really want potential thieves to be able to see all the valuables inside my VHS Cassette Clutch?   No way.  Why not just carry a "Rob Me" sign?!!

So I departed slightly from the design and placed fabric window shades over my purse windows.

I also departed from the design when it came to crocheting a purse strap using the VHS tape.  I promise, this has nothing to do with the fact that I have no earthly idea how to crochet using yarn, let alone using a VHS tape.  I decided that braiding the VHS tape and my window shade fabric together would results in much more attractive look.

But ultimately, I had to face the elephant in the room: Step 3.  A half a glass of wine helped my confidence.  I applied more Super Glue to the tape and the hinges.  And my fingers.

So I switched to Plan B.  The packing tape.  I taped the hinges to the VHS tape.

I'm an engineering genius.

Finally, I was ready to test drive my purse.  It looked amazing.  But what, oh what, should I put inside it??? 

My Blackberry.  Wouldn't fit.   

My calculator.  Too big.  

My diamond broach.  Forget it.

The only thing that I could get to fit into this stinkin' (yet very attractive) VHS Cassette Clutch was a kleenex: 

But you know what?   I can always carry my VHS Cassette Clutch when I go to the doctor!  Or to a sad movie! 

Or to parent teacher conferences.

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