My Shiney Hiney

When one suffers from TRA (Tyrannosaurus Rex Arms) it is difficult to reach certain parts of one's body.  I desperately needed help.

My friend Chris strongly recommend the My Shiney Hiney.  He said it changed his life by allowing him to keep his hiney clean.  But, then again, his arms are way longer than mine.  I was reluctant to take the plunge without first doing some homework.

I searched online and to my relief, discovered a Genuine Honest review for the My Shiney Hiney.

OMG.  It sounds too good to be true!

"My Shiney Hiney is a personal body cleaning system that guarantees to reach the most hard to reach areas of your body to give you 100% hygienic cleansing."

100% hygienic cleansing?!!!!  But will it make me feel sexy and confident?

"My Shiney Hiney proclaims to be easy to use and show quick results to make you feel sexier and confident with the new spic and span feel"

Wow! Spic and span feel?  I want that.  I wonder how My Shiney Hiney works.

"To give you the satisfaction of wholesome body cleansing, My Shiney Hiney brush set convinces to have an ergonomically-designed applicator brush that is curved to access the most inaccessible personal areas of the body."

The most inaccessible personal areas of my body?  I wonder if it will reach my hiney.  

And what if I want a more "intimate" cleanse?

"My Shiney Hiney also maintains to a finger brush to provide an absolutely intimate cleanse."

That finger brush looks just like my dog Kevin's toothbrush.  Can I use that?  

And my hiney doesn't always smell like roses.  Will it smell better after using My Shiney Hiney?

"It's cleansing cream gets rid of odor and impurities and moisturizes and conditions your skin to give you hygienic as well as a refreshed cleansing."

I'm still not convinced. Wouldn't shower gels work just as well?

"All the perfumed shower gels and scrubs couldn't make you feel a cent percent cleansed."

But my Bath and Body Works gels come in some great scents! 

"My Shiney Hiney assures to have three unique scents in the creams- Lemon Verbena, Citrus Gigner, and Passion Fruit, each cleansing and relaxing your skin."

I'm not familiar with Citrus Gigner.  It sounds exotic.  

Now, this is kind of embarrassing, but my hiney is really tan from all the visits I've made to nude beaches.  I wish that the My Shiney Hiney could lighted my embarrassing tan lines.

"My Shiney Hiney alleges to have a Whitening Cream that has a blend of ingredients to lighten dark skin and given an even skin tone."

The truth is that as a result of all those visits to nude beaches, my hiney has a lot of anxiety.  I just wish it would calm the hell down.

"My Shiney Hiney Whitening Cream claims to make your skin smoother and softer and its gentle ingredients calm your skin."

My Shiney Hiney sounds better than sliced bread!

But, wait a minute.  

My Shiney Hiney costs $19.98.  

That's a lot of money when I can make my own.  All I need is a few ordinary household items.

And Ta-Da!!!!  Introducing the Nerdling My Shiny Hiney.  No...

My Glassy Assy.