Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Curing Recumbency

Most people sit at their desks.  

Not me.  I lie.  Horizontal.

My re-purposed trash can serving as an ottoman, I lie nearly prone in my desk chair each day. Writing SAS code.

And I suffer.  Most days I leave the office with deep indentations on my legs, just above my heels.  From the edge of that damn trash can. 

I've tried to stay vertical.  God knows how I've tired to force myself to sit up straight while studying statistics. 
I begin each day erect, but gradually sink deeper and deeper into the chair. On my Clyde slide. Until I can barely see data anomalies over the keyboard.

I thought about inserting Jiu Jitsu knives along the edge of my trash can.  

But that would be so messy. 

So imagine my delight when I discovered a cure for my recumbency on the Japan Trend Shop website.  I am pleased to announce that my horizonal work life days are numbered, thanks to The Chin Rest Arm – Office Posture Gadget.

And here’s the fun part.  According to the marketing copy, "the soft materials cushion your chin or cheek, so you can covertly get some sleep at your desk all the while you appear to be looking at your screen."

Wow!  I can exhibit great posture and nap in my office.  Simultaneously!!!

But $73, plus shipping and handling, is a wee bit out of my chin rest posture gadget budget.  I decided to make my own.

I studied the gadget.  What I really needed was a prosthetic hand.  

But I didn't have a damn prosthetic hand.  The only fake body parts I had were my fake head and fake leg.

Others fledgling inventors may have given up at this point.  But I'm not the your ordinary inventor.  I'm a Nerdling inventor. I think out of the box.

And hands are not that different from feet, right?  

I mean, at the risk of getting overly technical, they each have 5 things poking out the end, right?  Toes...fingers...what's the difference?

Why couldn't I put a glove on my leg's foot? 

I pulled out a ski glove. It fit like Cinderella's slipper.   

And it works!  Check out my posture!  It's impossible to slink down into my chair with my Nerdling Chin Rest Leg Arm holding me upright!

But will it pass the true test?   

Damn straight.

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