Salami in the Tin Foil Drawer

“I found the phone,” Dave announces as I enter the kitchen.

 “I didn’t know it was lost.”

“Yeah", he says.  "I’ve been looking for it for 10 minutes.”
 
“Well, where was it?”

“In the cupboard.  Next to the cereal.”  He raises one eyebrow and adds, “Why did you put it there?”

Here we go again.  He thinks it was me.  I know it was him.  

 “Not me,” I flatly deny.  “Must have been the same person who put the salami in the tin foil drawer last week.”
 
One thing’s for sure.  It couldn’t have been Linda.

She never puts anything away.

But there’s no way it was me.  I would never put the phone next to the Rice Krispees!
 
Although I did pour Diet Coke in Kevin’s water dish the other day.  

And then there was that tiny mishap with the clogs.

(I bought a new pair of brown clogs and dropped off my old pair at Good Will.  Except I gave away one shoe from each pair.)

OMG!  Maybe it was me!!  And it’s only likely to get worse.

If there was only some way to make lemonade out of this lemon.

Wait. One. Minute.

Reality TV! 

It will be a cross between Keeping Up With the Khardashians and The Real Housewives of Atlanta. 
 
I'll call it: Keeping Up With Stuff Misplaced by the Real Old People of Columbia.
 
It will be the biggest hit since Hoarders! 
 
I can just imagine the chatter in break rooms around the country.  “Did you see Keeping Up with Stuff Misplaced by the Real Old People of Columbia last night?”

And the ratings will go through the roof when I accidentally brush my teeth with Kevin’s Chicken Toothpaste.